Thursday, December 30, 2004

now comes a time

The joys of being at home, and not having that easy, instant access to the computer.....
it's enough to drive you mad, but at the same time.... quite refreshing too. That's not to say that I don't miss everyone out there, by any means!
It's just easier not to try - because anytime I do sit down and write an email, the computer refuses to send it, and the frustration levels rise hugely!
It's moments like that, I realise, no matter how easy going I think I am.... I'm not!

So, Tab - I'm sorry.... yours ended up in the big ol' yonder..... will have to catch up when I get home. Whenever that is.

I think I have a car..... wohooooooo!!!!
So, just about to book a ferry crossing.... which is all fun and games. Wondering if Shane would want to come down to the beloved South Island earlier than the 10th, but also wondering if we'd kill eachother on the open road?!
We shall see.... funny way to officially meet a person, since it didn't happen as he drove through Cambridge.... mad rush to get down to Taupo. Guess then was not the time.

I picked up the paint brush a couple of days ago - though it was nothing drastic... just the verandah which needed a new coat of white... of course, seems that night some cat decided to walk along it - leaving his mark... typical. Today.... pouring with rain, and I got the living room ready to paint yesterday, so today may be the perfect day. Dad wants me to do the bathroom edging, and their bedroom too. Easy peasy. :)

We still need to get horses ready for the show.... gave Oklahoma a bath the other day, and had her looking beautiful... as well as Felicity - but neither of these ones are going to the show. lol.
Gottta bring the foals in, and do some leading.... but it's just too miserable today.

Might need to go catch a movie this afternoon..... perefct weather for that.

Righty ho....

Off I go... to see what damage I can do.

Be well

Sunday, December 26, 2004

a very merry

So, while the rest of the world is celebrating Christmas, I'm sitting here in boxing day. Nice the way that happens so beautifully. :)

Had a fantastic day here. It's been great being up on the farm. I'm still super tired, but used to it... and just taking the time to relax. Believe it or not, I haven't picked up a paint brush yet - and somehow feel full avoidance will come into play. Bad, huh. We'll see. By tomorrow I may be fully ready to start painting? Won't tell my parents that just yet though.

I'm not going to bore you with mundane details of the big day here - except to say that the sun shone, and the golf tournament went down without a hitch... and, well.... it would see that anytime I come home for Christmas... I win it! :) hahahaha.... and yes, the course changes every time, and no, I didn't even have a trial run on the course before the day. My partner in crime was quite chuffed, as was I.

Seriously.... just fun hanging out with the family. Totally awesome bunch of people... and would seem that, while Tess and Tamati will have their Baby in June, Catherine gets married to Frode in Jan, and Emily looks set to be the next to add to the family.... more wedding bells. hahaha

We have warned Sam that this is as we are, and nothing will change - we are becoming madder with each addition, but I must say - we are so blessed!!

Righty ho....

Hoping that everyone is having a super festive time...... be super blessed!

Love, CJ

Monday, December 20, 2004

pressies galour.....

Just finished having our house Christmas....
Presents everywhere.... really!

Had a lovely dinner.... Jiljane was in charge of cooking the feast, and even made the requested Chocolate mousse... am I spoilt, or what?!

Was a lovely night. I'm completely zonked now though, and it's not actually even late.

Jiljane gave me a book, which I've been wanting to get for ages.... yay. So, just about to go and curl up in bed and read the night away.

Managed to get up early today....woweeeee... and made it into work early, which was pretty impressive. BUT, I guess thats what stress will do to you.
I got to work, didn't even sit in my office before I dashed off to the other warehouse to get back onto the packing. Madness.... I had booked transrail to come and pick up all the pallets and have them delivered on today back on Thursday - doing my best to be ultra organised....
Anyway - they were supposed to be picking them up around 1:30. 2:30 comes and I'm wondering where they've gotten to? So... call them up, and ask what's going on. It actually came as no surprise when they told me that they didn't have any record of the booking.
It's like everything that we've been doing this month - we've had orders go missing, suppliers be out of stock of half of the things that we've needed, shipments just not arrive from Australia...
It's honestly now just a comedy of events.
If I didn't laugh I would cry. So, when they told me this, while being frustrated, I'm beyond blowing up.... just go through the motions that it needs to be delivered that day, that I'm not impressed, or thrilled with their lack of organisation, and that I would appreciate if they would get over there to pick up the things. That's it.
In the end... several phone calls later, they finally get someone there after 5. I'm busy wondering if anyone will actually even be at the other end to take the stuff off of the truck? Dramas!
Still.... made it through the day, and I'm just relieved!

So... the next two days will be filled with just finishing some little orders, and getting paper work all done. I've got a pile of invoices which need to be done, and other silly little things that have been pilling up on my desk, floor, shelves. My office is a MESS!
I sat down at my desk, and actually had no space to put anything down. Mad, really.
So.... tomorrow morning can be spend tidying up, and just getting organised. I don't enjoy things being quite that bad. :)

Oh - sent off all the Christmas pressies today. So, should be waiting for me when I get home. YAY!
Need to tell mum that she's not allowed to open it up! I didn't wrap a couple of the presents, cause I wanted to add a few things once I was up there. Still - good to know that they are on there way, and I don't need to worry about trying to pack everything. Had a bottle of port, that I hope will survive the journey alright. hahaha... otherwise, disaster will be waiting for me.

Right... I'm honestly just babbling.

So, shall shut it now, and go crawl into bed.

Goodnight all.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

saying goodbye

So.... as it rained yesterday morning..... I jumped in Betty for the last time - praying that she would make it down the road.... getting us safely to the car wreckers.... and then it would be goodbye.
I was actually ready to get rid of her - after walking to work for that week.... and getting over the whole - arhg, inconvenience of it all. :)
It's still quite sad to think about now..... all the adventures taken.... crazy talks that happened, and just the people that I've been able to take places.
I guess that was a big thing for me.... I was always so thankful that I could do that for people.... Christchurch is so small - that taking anyone anywhere was never that big a deal.

Before taking her I did my best to peel off a couple of the stickers that I had stuck on her.... it was part of her identity. When I talked to a friend last night, telling her Betty had gone - she just said, you could always spot Betty around the city because of her stickers....

So... I'm slowly getting rid of the things in my cluttered life. hahaha. I don't think I intentionally would have got rid of the car, at least not just yet... but it has spurred on some more evaluations as to the life I'm living right now. The whole "NEEDS vr's WANTS". Not only that, but just looking at what I already have.
While we were doing our "Spring clean" last weekend, I was going through all the kitchen cupboards, and realising that between three of us - we have anough for a whole nother kitchen... my suggestion - put together a box of things that we can loan out to people who have just moved over from somewhere.... who might have stuff coming from overseas, and just need something to tide them over. The boxes are growing as we find doubles/tripples of everything. It's very cool. So, I need to go through it all, and just box it and stash it for when someone needs it. We've often lent stuff out to people... this way we're a little more ready for it.
Have to sit back and go.... we really are so blessed!!!

Look at the things we have, rather than be so focused on what i want next.

What the world teaches us, huh!

Righty ho.... have just been playing around with the Shawn McDonald poster... so need to go and get it printed today. :) YAY.... I'm getting excited about it all again.

Oh - and we're having Christmas tomorrow night in the girly flat. Should be a blast.

Bring on thursday morning, when I get to fly home......


Friday, December 17, 2004

It's raining, it's pouring....

And somewhere..... perhaps a man is snoring??

Who knows.

Shortly, I'm sure it will be though.

This week seems to have vanished.... I could do with an extra day to get things done, though I'm so relieved that it's Friday! Funny how that works. This weekend will fly by too, I guess. Have much to get done. Presents to buy, baking to do for Christmas, and Poor Betty will be parted with as well. SO SAD.

My flatmate asked me what time the funeral was. I haven't even rung any of the wreckers to find out if they would like her? I'm sure it won't be a problem. lol Who wouldn't want my beautiful beast?

I'm actually going to have to get a picture of her before she goes.

Jacx isn't even here to pick up the pieces. JJ is going to come with me though.... she can hold my hand.

Sorry - thoughts flying everywhere right now. Can't really think straight, and not quite tired enough to go to bed... humph.

Guess I'll have to go and curl up with a book.

Figure out tomorrow.........

Thought for the day:

"It takes a long time to become young." Pablo Picasso


Sunday, December 12, 2004


I'm at home.... all alone, and just relishing in that.

Loads of laundry getting done, and I'm just praying the rain can stay away for another hour while it all dries.

Music blaring in the living room... and I was thinking, wouldn't it be amazing if the people next door were listening to the lyrics, wouldn't they be curious. Expleetives reeling from that side. Mike would laugh cause I just can't inforce my swear jar on them!

The words right now.... wherever you are, wherever you've been, he's been there... so let his people sing......

Something to think about.... that it's wonderful being exactly where we are right now. To not worry about what may happen next, how things will work out, but to just keep praising our awesome God.

OK..... so I alluded to a rather strange thing I heard.... which of course is odd, cause elaboration has not happened as yet.

"Isn't it obvious!?"

I was praying the other night, after getting off the phone from a friend. Someone I don't know terribly well, but enjoy yaking to, and would like to know better.
We often talk about our passions, and what we would like to be doing.... what we feel called to be doing, and just how we're going to get there.
We'd just talked about the idea of starting up a business together, which was bizzare in itself.... but something I've wondered about for a while.

Maybe I should back up here.... There have been so many coincidences with this whole relationship from the start. Little surprises that have had me stop and go wow. I know that God has been having fun sitting back, and just letting it all unfold, slowly....

Anyway.... after this last conversation, I just sat back and prayed... asking that God would reveal what it was that I was supposed to be pursuing with this person. Should we get serious about this business idea? Was there something else?
As I was sitting there I just heard " isn't it obvious?" It was so clearly spoken. I was just like. HUH? Isn't WHAT obvious?

I have zero idea.... but am realising that there is a much bigger plan, and that I need to keep walking down the path that I'm obviously on, and just keep asking questions.
It is pretty funny though.....

God's witt strikes!

I'm off to go wrap up Christmas presents. (Reminder.... 12 days to go! wohooo)

Wise words - from the mighty Einstein himself:

"Great Spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."

Saturday, December 11, 2004

the car....

I forgot about the car story....

though was reminded, gently the other day.... silly me.

My poor car.... betty the brown bomb is dying. yes, it's official now. On that fateful Friday, where I was running around doing all those last minute Bridesmaids duties.... picking up the other bridesmaids, running through speeches, picking up rings, food for the next day, everything that has to be finished that day......
somewhere between my house and the grocery store, the car starts spluttering.... to describe it to the mechanic, she had a severe case of the hiccups ..... the mechanic responded with... ahhh, she's got kangaroo juice!

Anyway... I managed to get her to the garage, and leave her in their capable hands... before getting a call to tell me that, ummmmm... she's not worth fixing! Poor Jacx, who was with me at the time just gave me a huge hug, and we both laughed, as I had tears streaming down my face... this is the second car she's had to see me loose.


I get to the garage with Jacx, and the guy tells me that she'll "last a while" with what they've done, so I tell Jacx I'll be fine, and I'll just see her later tonight, after I've done all the running around. The car barely makes it home!

Needless to say I was frantic, and somewhat beside myself. I had so much to get done, and had to be all over the place, and now no car to do it in. So... the answer in any situation like that one... to lie down, have a good cry, and then, just keep going.
I had my flatmate take me to pick up one of the other bridesmaids, drop us both off at Jacx place so I could pinch her car, and go and pick up the others, and all the stuff we needed. It was madness - but we made it!

Soooooo.... the car did manage to start the next day, and I bunny hopped around the block a few times, before actually going anywhere... but this is the end of the line for the beloved little car.
Not quite sure what will happen now? Buying a new car isn't an option right now... still need to get plane tickets sorted out for next year, and that's going to come first....
So.... delivering stock to clients is out, and getting up earlier to walk to work is in... and I don't mind that... I mean, I hate the fact that doing my job just became harder, but since they aren't interested in paying me a decent wage, I'm not about to take on that added responsibility.

Tune in next time when we hear the pig say.......

(Best imagination required here.... Miss piggy standing in a gorgeous little sequined number, heels flying in the air..... with that famous karate kick..... " Hiiiii Yaaaaaaaaa" )

Friday, December 10, 2004


I was sitting in my little office today, thinking about going to see a movie tonight..... liking the idea after such a long week - sitting back in the dark, no phones to answer, people to ask me funny questions......
And there are so many movies on at the moment that I've wanted to see.....
BUT - do you think I could find anyone who wasn't busy, or married to come to the movies with me at such late notice?
What was I thinking?? lol

So, I sat there.... and felt kind of alone in the world. hahaha
It was short lived, because this was of course all taking place in my office, and I get all of 2 minutes max without some kind of interuption. (fleeting thoughts are mastered here!)

Anyway... I got home around 8, and after sitting down, thinking about dinner... which just didn't happen.... I jumped up and went to see the movie.
So glad I did. Funny how I'd forgotten how much I do like going to see movies on my own. Sat and absorbed it all up.... there were a few teary moments, but nothing drastic, and it was just nice.

on that note..... been told I need to call my lost flatmate in Australia.... so better get to it, before I fall asleep at the keyboard.

I'm puzzling over something I heard......

"Isn't it obvious" just to remind me that I need to get onto that. :) Bizzare, huh!

be well.

Thursday, December 09, 2004


yes, fairly random thoughts during the busy, and somewhat madening Christmas rush AKA Silly Season!
Fear there are even high chances of me finding myself stranded inside the store room come Saturday, just so I can find the zillion orders that are floating around for a couple of big orders, because I just can't face it during the week, and I'm being 'helped' by the store room guys - who like to pile everything up so high, and so damn badly that in actual fact, not only do I not know what is over there, but I can't get to it without climbing over boxes and pallets of STUFF! I've pretty much given up on it all for the moment, praying that I'm not going to get a phone call from Barry to say he wants the first part of the order NOW. That, and I still haven't solved the whole white procelain deal! hahahahaha......
and while I'm slogging through 10-11 hour days, I can sit here and smile.
I do still love my job!

So... catching up?

Jacx wedding on Saturday..... wish I had some pics I could drop on here... Jill is just trying to send me a couple that she took at the wedding. I don't really want to see us being silly at the reception.

It was a gorgeous day!! Jacx looked absolutely stunning..... huge smiles! Meanwhile.... as I walked up the isle I had Jimbo trying to make funny, sly faces without being outrageously obvious, and Maxi trying to figure out if he was going to cry - only to see my tears, and decide, actually - CJ is crying enough for both of us! hahaha. Yes... I couldn't help it.... Shane started crying, and that just set me off for good. Any pics will have me glistening with tears. Good thing Jacx knows me well, and knew to expect it from me.
Photos were fun and funny all at the same time.
we headed down to Sammys Jazz Review, which was fantastic... cool little courtyard and Sam turned up with Jo, which was very cool. I think it got Jo a little more excited about their up and coming wedding.... she laughed at the silly antics, and singing that went on with us. I'm looking forward to their wedding.... and the reception at Sammy's should be very cool. Great place to have it - and just be able to dance away the night - though I haven't asked them if they are actually having jazz, or not?

From there we did a drive through at BK.... hahaha. was driving Shane's car out to the reception with all the bridesmaids, and we were STARVING! So... it was demanded that we make the stop. Nothing like a bunch of well dressed girls eating burgers, and trying ever so hard not to get ketchup all over their dresses!

The night was all good.... Jimbo and I managed to do the first dance without too many toe stepping moments.... he's just such a sweetie. :)
It poured down with rain for most of the night.... making it all warm and cosy for us inside.... so, to jacx joy - we danced the night away!

Still recovering from it all.... lack of sleep... and just catching up on everything else that was put on hold.

The car is a whole 'nother story to contend with... but it can wait.

I'm off.......

but thought for the day........
"A simple life in the fear-of-God is better than a rich life with a ton of headaches."


Friday, December 03, 2004

The family mutt.... Milly Molly Mandy. Not quite as tiny now..... but still super cute, and playful! Posted by Hello

My Lilly Pants.... no idea how the name happened.... it really is just Lilly.... pants just kind of fit her. Posted by Hello

Saturday, November 27, 2004

questions... or answers?

Just home from the wonderful Christmas shin-dig.
Yes... I went along to see what it would be like... to eat some yummy food, and just hang out with the fellow working buddies.
Most - very different mentality to living.....

Still, it was a good night out. I'm just shattered though. Realising how much I'm trying to fit into my days - and also that, while I was once able to survive and cope with the days on a mere 3 hours sleep a night.... it's just not going to work now. Is it an age thing? Am I simply too old to do all that I'm wanting to do? hahahaha!
Refuse to believe that!

Still - it's pushing me into over thinking the whole "Time Management" thing.......
and while I'm getting pretty darn good at squashing an enourmous amount in a small period of time, one would have to ask the question "IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?"

If I was to ask Shane that, he'd probably say yes. The short term will pay off long term.
He may be right.... but am I enjoying this?

In all honesty - it doesn't bother me too much. What is bothering me - sore eyes!
Tomorrow... time to invest in some wonderful eye drops, so that maybe I can pretend to look more awake? or maybe, at the least, my eyes would stop hurting so much?!

I think tonight may have been my first dinner all week? whew.

Moving right along..... wedding invitation arrived in the mail. I don't even know what number that is for this year? It's quite a simple. but gorgeous one too. My cousin, Catherine. Unfortunately - I had to pass on that one - and go to the one in Christchurch the same day. The plane flight was going to kill me, as was the mere timing of it all. As it is, we have stock take that weekend, which I'm out of doing - but still need to get all of our stock counted before John and I can run away.
Still.... I'm sure it will be a gorgeous wedding. The first one in the Woody family, and out on the farm no less. Should be absolutely gorgeous.
I'll just have to try and catch up with them while I'm up at the end of Jan?!

Actually.... no engagements in the last month. New record? Does this mean that the frantic rush is over for the moment? wooooooooooooooooooooooooo
or does it simply mean that the rest of us are meant to be old maids? ;)
I'm actually enjoying the "Single" Status, and freedom which comes with.
It's been over a year....... all is good!

Not saying that I wouldn't absolutely love for some guy to come and just fall over himself.... but only if it's the right one! and how exactly do we figure that one out?

Obviously time for me to sleep.

ka kite ano.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

a little on the crazy....

Yeah... running on who knows what right now.

It's been a mad day, and I'm feeling it now.

I woke up this morning with a horribly sore back and neck. Normally I'm fine living with a somewhat stuffed back, which kind of comes from falling off my horse in some really crazy ways during one ride way back when.
Today has been different though. It hurts to move my arm, and neck... driving was even interesting tonight.
Anyway.... aside from that - I've just been going like mad.

Finally finished for the day, and about to grab a quick shower before I crawl into bed. The weather is just as nuts as me. It feels like it's autumn/winter - not spring, and nowhere near the summer that was simering for a while there. A moment where I wish I had my electric blanket!! hahaha.
Anyway... hot shower will do the trick, I'm sure.

Right... what was I really wanting to say.

Yes - GOT A VENUE!!!

So.. having sorted that out - and finishing up the posters tonight with Rach... it's now officially ALL GO! and there is much to figure out in the next few weeks - and yet, have to get through the wedding first, really!

I still haven't got my parachute tickets either, or plane tickets. arhg.

BUT first..... I think I'd better go sleep....

night all.

Monday, November 22, 2004

catching up...

I can't even remember when I last sat down and scribbled any mindless dribble.

About time it happened. :)

So, life is crazier than normal.
I spent the weekend doing the Christmas missions - getting cards done, for a friend to take back to the States for me, which was fantastic.... feel quite organised. Just relieved to know that some people over there will be hearing something - even though it's not anything huge.
So... glad to get that done - now just need to work on the NZ ones.

Between writing I headed off to get Jacx' hens party underway. Doing a car rally - just to liven up everyones lives, which should be madness and mischief for everyone. I'm looking forward to it all.
So - need to get that all typed up tonight. Doing it on Sunday - praying for a stunning super sunny day! :o)
Still need to find that perfect wedding present which seems to be alluding me right now. Did wonder about a duvet inner although the cover that they want is out in the store room too - which would be very cool! :o)
We shall see.

Savings are anything but.... lol. Still... think I'm mostly ontop of the Christmas presents... so can breathe a sigh of relief, and just enjoy it all.

So much for a full catch up... constant interuptions, which is all good, in a distracting kinda way....

"If I had a million dollars..... I'd buy a fur coat - but not a real fur coat, that's cruel."

and what about a green dress?

and kraft dinners that you could eat more of, just because....... and buying your love?

life is full of sweetness, huh..... and happy songs!!

ENJOY people.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

more wise words...

"'All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible.'
D. H. Lawrence"

Hope that strikes a chord with some of you out there.

Mellow mood... listening away to the new WOW cd, and surprise - WOW it is! :o)

Isn't life Grand.....


Monday, November 08, 2004

sunny side up....

Sitting here... with a cool breeze floating through my window, which is just gorgeous.... yes... a zephyr..... the sweet spring perfumes just mellowing in the eve.

Bebo is singing sweetly.... I think this would have to be the most spiritual of his cd's. It's like he's reached a new depth. Or maybe I'm just listening in a new way - hearing new messages? Anyway.... liking what I hear... and pondering the meanings. There is truth in it.

Hmmmmmmmmm.... and the albums name "try" makes sense.

So... about to jump into bed.... after a rather long day. Would you believe I've been getting to work earlier. Crazy... I am working longer hours, and it's mostly by accident.
WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? Perhaps it's me thinking that John is away again this week - I know I've got more to do, but it's all pretty much as under control as I can make it. But still... feel that responsibility to everyone.

Talked to Shane briefly.... when I called him at work today was told he was away for the day - sick. No txts from him... so rang him tonight to see what was up with him.Turns out he lost his cell phone on Friday - followed by a terrible car accident on Saturday... where, amazingly he walked away fine... whip lash, but no broken bones.
He just kept saying God was there!
The guys couldn't figure it out..... the truck was wasted. he didn't even bang his head....In some ways, I think it was wake up call - that he can't just keep plodding along at work. He needs to get out there, and do what he's passionate about... do what he is supposed to do! He keeps hassling me about the Canada thing..... it doesn't look like the doors are opening up for him to move over there... at least, not yet. And he even says he's a little scared of flying choppers right now. I don't think that will last long..... he's just had a brush with life. Anyway... I'm just thankful that everyone was ok! Was not what I expecting to hear at all.... something along the lines of... yeah... was playing around outside with the boys, and got tackled... hurt my knee - or something. Bit scary, really.

Oh... planted some sunflower seeds tonight!! YAY!! I've been meaning to get some seeds for ages, and really need to get some other ones to go with these. Need colour, and life! And I haven't had any sunflowers in years!
Sunny side up.


Sitting here... with a cool breeze floating through my window, which is just gorgeous.... yes... a zephyr..... the sweet spring perfumes just mellowing in the eve.

Bebo is singing sweetly.... I think this would have to be the most spiritual of his cd's. It's like he's reached a new depth. Or maybe I'm just listening in a new way - hearing new messages?
Anyway.... liking what I hear... and pondering the meanings.
There is truth in it.

Hmmmmmmmmm.... and the albums name "try" makes sense.

So... about to jump into bed....

after a rather long day. Would you believe I've been getting to work earlier. Crazy... I am working longer hours, and it's mostly by accident.

Perhaps it's me thinking that John is away again this week - I know I've got more to do, but it's all pretty much as under control as I can make it. But still... feel that responsibility to everyone.

Talked to Shane briefly.... when I called him at work today was told he was away for the day - sick. No txts from him... so rang him tonight to see what was up with him.
Turns out he lost his cell phone on Friday - followed by a terrible car accident on Saturday... where, amazingly he walked away fine... whip lash, but no broken bones. He just kept saying God was there! The guys couldn't figure it out..... the truck was wasted. he didn't even bang his head....
In some ways, I think it was wake up call - that he can't just keep plodding along at work. He needs to get out there, and do what he's passionate about... do what he is supposed to do!

He keeps hassling me about the Canada thing..... it doesn't look like the doors are opening up for him to move over there... at least, not yet. And he even says he's a little scared of flying choppers right now. I don't think that will last long..... he's just had a brush with life.

Anyway... I'm just thankful that everyone was ok! Was not what I expected to hear at all.... something along the lines of... yeah... was playing around outside with the boys, and got tackled... hurt my knee - or something. Bit scary, really.

Oh... planted some sunflower seeds tonight!! YAY!! I've been meaning to get some seeds for ages, and really need to get some other ones to go with these. Need colour, and life! And I haven't had any sunflowers in years!

Sunny side up.

Sunday, November 07, 2004


I can't quite figure out where the weekend went?

I can understand that it was pretty jam packed with goodies....

I had breakfast with my old flatmate; Jackie before we went dashing around the city looking at houses, which was total madness, but good fun! Of course.... reality was struck, and while neither of us was commited to finding somewhere - she really quite likes her abode, as do I... it was still interesting to get out there and see what was around.


At the same time.... I was looking at places for Gordie - who claims he is still interested in finding a house to buy over here... and I'm to keep my eyes open. So open they were! He was even liking the idea of the backpackers! WOW!
Ben just laughed.

Nothing out there in the city area that would have worked though.

Caught up with Candïce for lunch... well... chai latté .... she had just had a tooth pulled out, and was in the whole drooley state.... feeling very self-contious. She actually did really well. And it was a good catch up. Wandered around the mall - which is something I haven't done in a long time. Checked out a jacket that Andy was thinking about for the wedding - very cool, and very him!

Today after church they had their engagement party out at woodend - so zoomed out there after church, and then back home for Sharyn's Birthday Desert night.

WHEW..... I'm so glad it's a short week again!!! Though I know it's going to be pretty full on since John is away again this week!
Friday was super long too.....

Actually got up way early, went to work early.... and then ended up staying late! hahaha... made no sense!

Right.... gotta get some sleep... falling asleep here, and fully aware that I'm not making sense!

Nighty night, all.

Friday, November 05, 2004


“To find God, you must look with all your heart. To remain present to God, you must remain present to your heart. To hear his voice, you must listen with your heart. To love him, you must love with all your heart. You cannot be the person God meant you to be, and you cannot live the life he meant you to live, unless you live from the heart.” ~John Eldredge~ Waking The Dead

Shawn McDonald

Shawn McDonald

Some inspiration....
God is working here.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004


Wishing that I had more..... but for the moment, am also just blown away by some things that have happened in the last couple of days.

I'm just about to fall into bed, but feeling bad for not getting thoughts out there more often.

My head has been swimming!

I got a phone call from my long lost flatmate Gordie tonight. Very, very cool to catch up with him - though brief, and I still don't totally know what's going on in his life. I'm glad I was near the phone when it went off. He's such a funny guy.... we used to yak into the wee hours when we lived together... probably a very good thing we don't still flat together. Bit hard now though, he's living in England. Was trying to convince him that it was really time he got back here. Partly because I'm ready to have my flatmate back, and partly because he's not sounding so kiwi any more! haha.
He's been talking about buying a house for a while back here... I'm supposed to be on constant look out for that perfect house. He actually loved the idea of the backpackers. How cool would that be. We'd be hillarious running something like that together. He just wants me to do it all while he's still living in England... and then he can swing in and enjoy the fruits of my labours. The things I do for love. :o)
I was hoping that he would be back in time to gate crash Jacx wedding so that I would have someone to dance with. He just laughed and said, no. He'll always have a special place in his heart for Jacx, and I think it would actually just be too hard for him to be there.

Went for an awesome walk late last night.... had cell and then went out for coffee with some girls, which was really fun. Mad, but fun.
While I was walking I was praying away about this year... where I was supposed to be focusing my energies. It was actually so refreshing to be getting everything out... talking away to God. I had LOTS to say. hehe.
Anyway.... I was really questioning what to do with my passions... what was I supposed to do? I get home for all of 5 mins, and get a txt.... I figured it had to be someone in England - most likely Nig at that hour, but it was Bex. I haven't heard from her in ages... and I was still waiting to hear if she was going to make it to Parachute in Jan. Did I need to get a ticket?
Turns out she is coming, and bringing with her Shawn McDonald. Super exciting stuff. Love him!! Anyway... she wanted to know if I wanted to organise a concert for him down here while they were over. WOHOOOOO!!
Talk about obvious pointing and such fast answer to prayer! hahaha
me with little faith!

So... have been buzzing away today, talking to a few different people... getting the emails out and about to just sound out the whole deal.

It's exciting though.

Meanwhile... Shane has been hillarious about the Canada deal.

I was thinking tonight - while out walking, how I had said originally that i wouldn't head overseas by myself next time. That I wanted my next adventure to be one that I shared with my husband.
I know that I wouldn't stick to that - but it did make me think about why I wasn't packing up everything to take off. Is there that part of me that is waiting....
Am i supposed to wait? I don't feel like I'm supposed to pack up yet.

Tomorrow... more flats.

now... sleeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppppp.

nighty night

Sunday, October 31, 2004

P is for PIZZA!!! Obviously

Yes... one of those nights! :o)

About to go and make some monster pizzas on this gorgeous Spring evening. My cousin and his fiance are coming round for dinner tonight..... and nothing would beat pizza tonight.

It's a day where you want the sun to just keep coming.... the day to keep going. Of course, it's zoomed.
Had an awesome service this morning.... one of those inspiring sermons, where you actually feel like something in you has changed - or at least wants to desperately reach forward for all that is out there for me!

Also had a womans retreat this weekend. I'm shattered from a really full on weekend. Met some great new people.... and Jacx and I yaked into the wee hours on Friday night. I haven't done that in forever. Funny.... need to have more sleep overs. We were laughing away much of the night. Joking about howshe met Shayne, and the engagement.... all very cool.

I've realised how little I've actually seen of her this year. In fact, this year just feels like a huge blurrrrr.....
so much I haven't focused on, and I've been slack about.

Life Fm has taken a huge back seat, and that's gotta change.

I've almost forgotten about what I'm passionate about. Not like me at all.
So... time to stir it all up again.

Ohhhhh... exciting news on the job front. I'm finally getting my computer! YES!!! All it took was the one email to the BIG BOSS man. :o)
Kind of points out the obvious to me again. Unless you ask, how can you get?

So... need to actually get my office sorted out tomorrow. Decided I'm going to change my desk around.... don't think I'll have to move the filing cabnet, which would be a mission and a half. Last time I had to empty everything out, and that I can do without.

Got a parcel in the mail this weekend.... yes... miss bethany sent over the new Bebo cd for me! Everyone in the house say YAY!!!

Just listening away to it now.... mellow as, always... but some cool words going on.

Makes a change from Vegie Rocks.... "Everyone has a water baffalo.." how can you not love that song? hahahaha...... Superchic*k at their very best I would say. Almost beats Princes and frongs?!

Righty ho... better get moving on the pizza front.

Mum and Dad were both chatting to me for abit, but seems they've gone and got distracted by something else on here?

Leave you with some Bebo

"Everything is alright, everything is so bright. Yeah the sun is shining beautiful and everyone is singing, everyone is dreaming. Yeah, the world is so colourful. "


Thursday, October 28, 2004

hungry hippo

Does anyone still have that game? Do they even still make it?

Not exactly what I'm refering to right now.... but a thought that sprung from it all.

Have had a great day.... don't you love it when that happens. :o)
Who doesn't love a great day at work.

Actually.... I have to say I like it when I'm there on my own. Not because I don't love John - but more the fact that I can just get on with what I need to do, and while there will always be interuptions.... I can get more done.
So, it's been abit of a missions week.... getting quotes done, orders out and caught up on the ever increasing pile of paper work which needed to be entered into the computer. Abit of a worry, really.
John did poke his head in for a little while... admited as he left that he had gotten very little done, but hey - the guy is supposed to be on holiday. What was he doing there to begin with?!

I braved an emailto the BIG BOSS yesterday... figuring I had nothing to loose.... something to gain! Asked him where my computer was? hahaha... he emailed back immediately saying he would go and question that one. Haven't heard anything since. It's not a big deal now because I can jump on John's... but when he gets back - CHAOS. The pre-christmas rush is on....

Talk to mum early this morning - the joys of waking up so early! :o) Seems she is pretty excited about becoming a Grandmother. Actually more than I expected her to be. YAY! Also sounds like Dave and Kirsten have changed their wedding from March to next November - which should make my flying plans a little easier.

Need to get a Diary pretty quickly to get everything into it now.

Right... zooming off to catch up with an old flatmate. I thought we were going to get to sit outside under the stars, but it's now beautifully overcast. Bummer. Ah well.....


Tuesday, October 26, 2004


In a moment that you can't get out of.....

sound familiar? Yeah... Bono at his almost best......
I still prefer the whole.... Running to Stand Still, but this one isn't bad either. :o)

Big News.....
Found out yesterday that I'm going to become an Aunty. WOWeeeeeeeeee

My little brother Tamati, and his lovely wife Tessa are expecting Bambino numero uno at the end of June. I still haven't spoken to mum.... dying to know how 'she's taken the news. I know not so long ago she was talking about how she would like to be a grandmother. I don't think she was really expecting it to happen this soon. hehe. JOYS!

Tam and Tess will make fantastic parents though... slightly ditzy at times... but there will be so much love in that house. I'm super excited for them!
Of course.... I've always wanted to be an Aunt.... but could probably deal with it all abit better if I was actually around to play with this little one. OK - so they're not around just yet.... but I am thinking about next year... and how I'll feel to not be apart of this ones life. haha

Different if I'm in another country.... but to be living in NZ, and just on the other island. Nuts!

Oh well.....

Dave and Kirsten had their engagement party on Sunday night..... and sounds like it was a great time. Finally all of the whanau got to meet everyone. Super important when it comes to our family! Everyone just kind of gets included - the family is growing to huge preportions. Brilliant stuff. The golf tournament at Christmas this year will certainly provide more challenges with the added numbers. Of couse - we've still got Ellie and Joshie away in England, and Simon and Rosalind overseas too... so that's a few that won't be around.
We'll make up for it with the extras we've picked up over the year. :o)

Time to actually start thinking about present shoping. yay. only 9 weeks till Christmas. Time sure flies.
That means only 6 weeks till Jacx and Shanes wedding... and whew, I'd better get onto the whole Hen's party chaos! Thinking a car rally would be all good... enough action to keep Jacx amused, and enough pranks to keep everyone else in fits of laughter.


Going to have to be an earlish night here.... was up and bouncing around the house at 4:20. CRAZY! Ains took off to Australia and we all headed to the airport to hold her hand. Good fun.
Of course, got home a little before 7, and couldn't see the point of trying to sleep then... so I went for a lovely walk..... watched the ducks swim around the river... and just woke up properly. Was actually pretty nice... but I really am not designed to be doing these things early in the morning. Give me my night time walks any day! No idea why that is.... I'm the same with swimming... feels like way more of a strain to do it in the morning.

righty ho....


Saturday, October 23, 2004

finding out....


The week has kinda zoomed, and at the same time been soooo long. I haven't had a whole lot of time to sit... in fact, emails have been left for today to be replied to - which is unlike me.

Went and had dinner with friends last night that I haven't just hung out with in over a year. I was quite good friends with Paul before he got married.... but things so often change after marriage. It's been super good for him, and I so appreciate both him and Les.

So... long weekend is upon us... and yesterday, while being swomped in quotes that are half finished, and still sitting on my desk.... kind of whispering at me to head in there later today to get them finished, I just wanted to bolt... thoughts of heading to Auckland, Tonga, Bali, Sydney last minute to just get away from everything here. A change of scene with some different company.... to laugh at life, and all it's little quirks.
Alas, I chose the wrong person to make these suggestions to - and surprise, I've been perceived as being someone who gets "Attached" easily.
Hmmmmmmm..... Agreed, there are few people out there with whome I feel I can sit and be myself, and I felt that Mike was be one of them. Maybe I'm wrong..... funny how people read more into something... or maybe it's just funny how people perceive different situations? or handly friendships?
I've known that the friendship has meant more to me.... no doubt about that one. He is one of these people who likes people, but is fiercely independent, and doesn't actually ever need to have anyone around. There are times where he'd enjoy company, but few and far between.....

While I enjoy being alone.... I also love being around people who make me laugh, and make me think... and accept me.
I wanted a weekend where I could just be.

Anyway.... that's the way it goes. We learn and grow, and friends come and go in our lives.... and right about now.... he has loudly said.... fizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. lol

Funny for someone who likes to think of themselves as being independent - how dependent I am on people in my life. Good/Bad? both, I'm sure!


I stayed up super late the other night because I couldn't put the book down. "Never Change" , which was about a guy who was diagnosed with a brain tumour, and was being nursed by a girl that he went to school with. Both are in their 50's. It was just beautifully written... but yes, what was I thinking reading about someone who dies of a brain tumour??? hahaha. There was this glimmer of hope in me, that just maybe, he would live. Nope..... so I cried bucketloads.....

But it was a good book.

Next book... far more lighthearted. :o)

Right... the day is going... and washing waiting to be hung out. Murky kind of day.... Ains leaves on Monday for Oz for a couple of months.... watch this space as the house dynamics take another shift in the breeze.


Wednesday, October 20, 2004

a silly thing to do.... but check it! :)

sometimes i just get so mad.

Actually... wouldn't you love to make a link.... just because.... for an explanation!

Monday, October 18, 2004

tonight... tonight....

So... had ministry team meeting tonight......
It seems like it's been ages since I was last at one. Colleen gets up and just says... wow, it is so good to be here, and to see you all..... you're all gorgeous!
I cracked up.
Perhaps it had more to do with the space that I'm in... the whole... hating myself, and trying to deal with it, so will laugh at any comment that comes flying my way.....

It was a good night though... encouraging, and great to hear what the spiritual family are doing around the world.

This weekend Colleen was speaking, as Pastor B was away in Auckland speaking at the church up there, (WOHOOO) and she was challenging us to have a vision, and plan for our life... Something that I have been struggling with.... focusing on getting through each week, figuring out where I'm at with work, where I'm at with the praise and worship team, what is it God is wanting me to get involved in?
I think I forgot the most important thing.... a car that is sitting still can't be steered! Or a boat with the sails down will go nowhere!
I've been so busy trying to figure it out - that I've forgotten to keep stepping forward.... to believe in my ability to make choices, and the fact that God won't just abandon me, and leave me to fall on my face if it's the wrong direction for me?!
So little faith.

So... I've been sitting at the same level.... ever comfortable, but so unsatisfied with what I've been doing, and where I've been going, which is a Big NOWHERE. hehe.

Time to get moving... to start believing in myself, and what it is I want to do with this life of mine.

Long weekend ahead, and a great opportunity to sit down and actually write down the things I want to get done. Time has zoomed by this year, and I don't think I've actually done much of what I would have liked to. It's been productive as far as work goes....I've learnt a huge amount... and as far as music goes - Praise and Worship, I've learnt abit.... but have not stretched myself hugely in any other areas.

things to think about.

Friday, October 15, 2004

week ends

So... another Friday night has rolled on up. YAY! This week has been pretty full on.

The day in Auckland, spent in a small, somewhat stuffy boardroom actually ended up being more productive than I perhaps thought possible!
While the training itself was waffly, and perhaps a little frustrating - I'm one of those kinesthetic learners, who need to have the thing in front of me to really gain any kind of understanding of what's being talked about - the time spend talking to the other sales guys who are based up there, and the big boss man, who stuck his head in to catch up with us was pretty informative and helpful too.
I was able to share abit more about my situation, and the way things have been going since starting the job almost a year ago - which was good stuff. He's made some promises about changes that will take place in the next couple of weeks - though I don't think holding my breathe would be a good idea. hehe. Still.... all in all - not a wasted day. It was exhausting though! hehe.
Went out for dinner with some friends last night.... awesome little Japanesse restarant. Good to catch up, and just chill out with Erin and Sarah. We even romped down to the mall afterwards - more like waddled our way to grab an icecream. Talk about indulgent! Bumped into another friend while we were down there. Seems I don't often go out for dinner with people these days. Benny and I always do when he's around - though the amount of time it takes for us to decide what exactly we would like to eat is a marathon in itself! (Gotta love the boy!) Other than him... I tend to stick to the coffees.
Kind of miss the American days, where going out for dinner is just more common. Perhaps not good - but still - more places that grab me than over here.

So the question of all questions right now......

What would make me happy? Am I so dissatisfied right now?

shall ponder away....

Tuesday, October 12, 2004


OK... my silly cat was going nuts last night.... meowing anywhere she could - first outside my window - which I finally got up to open in a very sleepy state, only to find she had moved on. Actually left my window open all night too - must mean spring is here?!
She then continued her meowing spree throughout the house. I think Ains and I were the only ones to really suffer... and I always thought I was a deep sleeper?! Imagine how bad it would be if I had kids! ARHG!

Anyway.... day gone, and I'm about to crawl into bed to sleep long and hard, before I have to be up before dawn to get to the airport. yes.... tomorrow is training day in Auckland. Looking forward to pulling apart this programme they've spent so much on getting which is of no use to us. SUCKERS! hehehe
Hey - at least I get two plane rides, and a day away from my office, which I left in an absolute state in a mad rush to get to band practice tonight. hahaha. Thursday is going to be quite the day.

on that note...


Monday, October 11, 2004

tell me why - I don't like mondays. hehe

Yes - can't you hear BOB crooning away in that raspy voice of his....

and what a depressing song to have as a title.

meanwhile.... I guess today I did kind of have a case of Monday'itis. Normally I like going to work. (perhaps not getting out of bed initially - but that passes quickly enough) Today, I was just in a slump.
More bad dreams... and maybe more reality?

Life is, as ever, changing..... and while the road is sometimes bumpy - it's exciting too think what could be around the corner.

Actually, really looking forward to the end of this year, and just seeing where things take me. I have commited myself to this job for the rest of the year - and quite possibly on till May next year when the 2 big jobs will be over. Beyond that, I don't feel a real sense of loyality. haha. They've had me for long enough, and I will have gained a fair amount of experience to take with me to something new. WOHOOOO.... bring it on!

I've been encouraged by a friend to take on some new form of sales, which would be very cool. realise that my self-confidence, in actually believing I have enough skill to go into this field... I know that I've learnt alot, and I know that I'm good at what I do - but transfering all of that to a new job - scary.
The encouragement is all good though! :o) I certainly appreciate it.

Pastor B was talking about encouragement yesterday..... my favourite line from his sermon:

"An encouraged heart is unstoppable!"

How true is that!!! We all need to be encouraged in different areas of our life. Thinking about it - a perfect way for us to know which path we are supposed to be travelling along.

Need to make tonight a night of catching up...... I wrote mum a postcard the other day, but still haven't posted it. Might actually walk down to the post box now.

Looks like abeautiful calm evening.... perfect for being out and about.

Be strong and courageous!

Saturday, October 09, 2004

a day for wondering

So... no sleep in for the wicked.

I was out of bed around 6 to let Lilly in my window.... I think I slumbered for a little while after that, but pretty disturbed slumber, and was out of bed by 8. Guess I didn't really need the sleep.

Have had chaos with the computers today. Yes - no online activity from 10:30 this morning, which cause quite a stir. haha. Funny how reliant we've become on being able to just access the internet at any moment.

Spent many minutes on the phone with different people trying to figure out what the problems were. Most amusing that I had them as puzzled as I was. I love the fact that it wasn't an easy fix, and I didn't have to feel incapable! :o)
Yes, the little things do amuse me.

I had lunch with Ains up on the hill, which was delightful. Nice to catch up with her, enjoy the view and a big bowl of mocha!! Then we head off to pick up the last bit of material for my bridesmaid dress (Fiasco). YAY. May be finished by tomorrow?!

I went and watched "THE NOTEBOOK" with a girl who works with Jiljane - Jo, who I hardly seem to see these days. Really cool chickadee, that I have alot of time for. Was a great surprise having her call to see if we could get to the movies this evening. We'd emailed eachother about it for the next couple of weeks.
Anyway..... lovely movie. The book has to be one of my absolute favourites! And they did a pretty good job of pulling it into a movie. I cried, and got carried away with the characters. Was so sweet - had a lovely old lady sitting next to me after the movie who just laughed when I said I'd forgotten how much I cried when I read the book - and should have expected at least half of that at the movie. :o) We talked about some of Nicholas Sparks other books. She didn't know that A Walk To Remember had been made into a movie, so was off to get that one out on Video to her delight.
I think it would have been a movie that my grandparents would have gone to see..... they had that kind of relationship - like the characters in the book. It was beautiful to watch them grow together.... heartbreaking when Granny died - but just a testiment of their love.

Off to go do battle with the room, which is something I've been putting off beautifully all day. :o)

into the night....... breathe

NZ Ski Fields

Check out the beauty of it all...... yeah - I missed another season. Quite surprised it's all ending already. Still been kind of cold around here!! (Drat the electric blanket not working!)

Life fm - Listen Live

Life fm - Listen Live

Here you go - great station to help pass the day - even some cool Kiwi accents to!! :)

Friday, October 08, 2004


Just home after having a night with the girls.
Went round to Jacx place for a good ol'night of pizza and cheesy girlie vids.

I can't actually remember the last time I did that. I have seriously issolated myself this year. On purpose I guess too.

We watched Princess Diaries, which, while being super cheesy - is still filmed in San Fran - and I've just got to appreciate those flashes of the streets, and just soaking in the memories that I have of the great city. I'd love to go and explore those streets some more. Kind of took it all for granted while living in the Bay that i never spend enough time down town. It's such a cool city though!

So... home to bed now.

I'm so looking forward to a sleep in tomorrow..... just pray that I can sleep and sleep and sleep. My head is all fuzzy, and brain blurry.

room tidy up tomorrow too... all those mundane little things that I've got to get done. Yes, I'd like to be able to see my desk again! :o)

big thoughts about people, places, and purpose.

but think they can wait for tomorrow.

moonbows and stars

Thursday, October 07, 2004

In Hagley Park - ok - Autumn, rather than spring.... but still stunning stuff! Posted by Hello

sunsets and daffodils...

Was driving through the park the other day, and realised that spring is past springing, cause the dafodils have pretty much moved on, and the cherry blossom - in all it's spendor is rainging on the ground now.... looks mystical when the wind picks up, and blows the petals everywhere.... but it does make you wonder at the amazement of the one perfect week - where everything is just coated in blossom.

Christchurch is beautiful at this time of year. However, my feet are itching.
The idea of making it over for Darryl and Linds wedding next year, in Jamestown, would be brilliant. hahaha... I have to meet the chick who won his heart over. Yes - another Canadian bites the dust!

Figuring out how to travel and fit in all the weddings is quite hillarious. This is when you realise that while living overseas is awesome, and exciting - it does mean that you miss out on other things. Have I had enough of all the family things so that I'm ready to leave them for a while. I make that sound so kind of clinical, and sterile, which isn't at all how I view my family. I love them to bits, and love the times that we get to have together - but I also value gaining the new experiences.... and it would seem, that you can't always have both?!

So..... time to refocus, and figure out the next stage of the journey.

Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing!


Wednesday, October 06, 2004

say won't you say.....

Whew.... just lost a super long blog. Don't you love it when the computer seems to be against you! There are evil boggies in the system somewhere, and they don't want my thoughts out there to polute the world, and all other bloggers. hahaha. Evil cackle right back at you!!!

BUT..... I'm slightly more composed in comparison to before, and feel ready to almost doze off. This week seems to have run away with me - and I realised my blogs have been few and far between - what a slacker am I.

This morning did not start terribly well.

For anyone out there who has woken in floods of tears, you will understand. Yes, I woke myself up sobbing, and I've only done that once before that I can distinctly remember. The last time was when I was back in Canada, and someone died in my dream..... then, like this morning, it was so real.

I was standing in front of Nana, and she was just telling me that I was special, and everything would be ok.

I don't know what she was refering to in any way.... and I don't know what about it made me cry, unless it was just me realising that she was gone?

Yes, today, it has sunk in that she isn't around any more. I don't know why it's taken so long. The whole week I was up on the farm I was feeling so sick, and when I wasn't out on the farm, was pretty much curled up sleeping, or keeping busy, that it didn't really register, and I was aware of that.
Today - while I was super busy, if I sat down, thought for any length of time, tears came to my eyes. Funny to think about now - but still sad.

I found my last card from her sitting in front of my computer when I sat down. Got it from her the same week I went to Auckland, which is pretty impressive. Especially when I think about how incapable she was of doing anything then. Everything was a huge effort.
Inside her card were some notes that she'd found somewhere, and thought they were quite a good suggestion. hehe. Gotta love her.

Thoughts about marriage:
1. Not too quickly
2. Not too young
3. Not too eager
4. Don't try to please someone with your choice
5. Don't marry someone until you know them in lots of different ways (how they think etc)
6. Don't get married with unrealistic values
7. Don't marry anyone with personality problems unless you are willing to live with that - deal with it. 95% can be known about that person before marriage
8. Keep eyes wide open before marriage - closed after that

When I was talking to Ngaroma after the funeral and told her about the note, she told me that nana had her copy one for me and one for Huia - my cousin who is the same age as me, and also still single, while our younger cousins are getting married around us. Brilliant stuff.
She was pretty good at handing out the advice, while never forcing anything down your throat - letting you figure most of it out for yourself.

So...... something to work through. Jacx told me last week that i had a right to grieve, and who knew how long it would take to get over. I just laughed at her... cause I was fine. SO FINE! hahaha

So... the different ways to deal with this?

Mum rang last night to say thanks for her pressies. of course, she had more news, besides the disasters that took place at trivia night. haha.
Anyway - my great aunt, who mum and I went to visit while we were in England a couple of years ago was in a car accident around Christmas time (Those terribly narrow roads in summerset!!) She was in hospital for quite a while then, and was finally let out, when she had a stroke. She died yesterday.
I was just thinking about her the other day. She had a rule with mum and I to send eachother PPP's ... Pretty Picture Postcards everywhere we went. I was looking for a good one to send her. Gutting!!
Mum and I were both just glad we'd gotten to spend some time with her when we did!! Yes - something good always comes out of the disasters in our lives!! hehe. (I had run over there, and everything had turned to seriously gluggy custurd... so mum came over and we travelled around together having a GRAND time... not once killing eachother in the streets - except for that close call in Oxford, for which I still feel terrible!)

So... while I've had the serious number of engagements in my life...... I'm just praying this isn't a switch to another circle of life!
emotional rollercoasters and me seem to go hand in hand.

on that note.....


Saturday, October 02, 2004

sunny saturdays....

Who could ask for more?

Actually got a pretty good nights sleep.... which helps, and while I was woken at 5:30 by the wonderful purry creature meowing outside my window to be let in.... I seemed to manage to get back to sleep. yay.

So, what to do with this glorious day?

Time to get my room sorted.... pack up the things that we don't need in the house... all the kitchen stuff..... I need a new trunk! ;) Would be perfect for pilling everything into right now. Might have to have a wonder around and see if I could find something. Doubtful. Don't seem to come across things like that here.

meanwhile.... moving on? finding a new house here. Yes, the idea of buying one appeals so much more than moving into another place.... but then, the idea of having a place to myself appeals more!! I was delivering some stuff the other day to some clients who manage lots of different apartments in the city.... this one was kind of cool. Not very big, but I could have handled it. WOuld have been a cool place to call my own.
Anyway.... we'll see.

Friday, October 01, 2004

tiptoeing through....

Bring on the weekend!!! :o)

I'm ready for a huge nights sleep, and getting lost in the dream world tonight. It's been a mammoth weekend, and in all honesty feels like I just had 3 squashed into 1!! The work that was waiting for me after 2 weeks of being away was HUGE. Still.... Wouldn't be there if I didn't love it.

Of course... with turning down the other job, came the sorting out of this job, and trying to figure out what was going to happen with it. Realizing that they have no clue at all as far as what I do! Clueless.... but that's the way I guess. Was thinking about the things that are keeping me here in New Zealand, and in all honesty - the biggest thing would be the job. Yes... I love my family - but living in the South pretty much means that I've isolated myself from them beautifully. So... they aren't really holding me here - though with all these weddings, I guess being here for most of them the first half of the year is a must. hehe.
So.... yes, there are friends - but I don't know if that would be enough to keep me here either.... The thing that I've been pulled to the most has been this job. It's been me... something that I could sink my teeth into, and just grow in, which has been fantastic. I've learnt a huge amount... but I don't think after this year that it will be enough. Of course, with the feelings of wanting to bolt (for want of a nicer word?! ) is it worth me finding something else... or just plodding along gaining all the experience I can, while I'm there, and getting the experience to put on the ol' cv? I'm not sure.

Looks like the States will be happening in May - after the wedding rush, and the madness of work. Should I just pack up everything completely, and take off permanently then? It's certainly an idea. head to the states and catch up with people.... see how it all is now... and then head upto to Canada - or over to England?

An option.



but still.......

Monday, September 27, 2004

i don't know....

funny moods change, stranger how it's often people that tip us over into the new mood.

I have no excuses...... only frustration, and it's not even at the person - but at myself for letting them bother me so much.


It was so good to be back at work today. Totally mad, but good to know that here was something for me to really grit my teeth into, and do well at.
Yes, maybe my being able to do something, and do it well does figure too much into how I value myself - what my own self worth is?

I've got alot to catch up on, and in all honesty I couldn't remember what I had done before I left. I had all sorts of jobs half done to a point..... and with John being away at the same time as me, it all just kind of got lost. There was a huge pile of emails for me to reply to, notes everywhere with people to call, and so many orders. There were three jobs that needed to be done by the middle of this week alone. hahaha.
The day just zoomed, and tomorrow will be more of the same.

Scored a huge job for early next year, which just blew my sox off. Thought I'd got it, but wasn't super sure. John met with the guy who would be seeing it through, and we've got everything started now. Exciting stuff.
I did mention to John that there was a possibility of me taking off to the States next year. There is a Praise and Worship conference over there in Feb.... which would be pretty awesome to attend. A friend of mine will be graduating in Cinci at the same time, I think - or passing her Bar exams around that time... and I would so love to catch up with her! I wasn't sure if I would aim for end of March - going over for my birthday, and then timing it with Easter as well. Of course, now this job is due for beginning April... so he told me to go in Jan. Would be pretty awesome if I could get over there that early!! I'm having Christmas on the farm, then need to be at work until John gets back from his holiday. I've got a cousins wedding in middle of Jan, I think... tie it all in together somehow? I don't know?

All ideas in this head of mine right now.

Spoke to Dad today..... I was actually trying desperately to find something from a supplier, and having no joy. I just happened to know that he had exactly what I needed for ballooning. Classic stuff. Of course, he got his in Canada - but a great excuse for calling him, and catching up.

Sounds like they actually had some classic times up in Auckland... all the brothers and sisters. The girls managed to have abit of a tiff. Sad... and funny..... Nana's house was sold to a neighbour so quickly, which was great for everything. It should all go through next week, and meant they didn't have to leave anything in the house, and could just get it all tidied up and finished with while they were all here.
How surreal.

Jill is busy cutting out my latest Bridesmaid dress... .yay. hahaha.. we were actually just talking about how many different outfits I need for next years line up of weddings..... how many of them will have the same crowd? haha. What thoughts. So.... figure I can have interchanging tops and skirts. Brilliant plan. :o)

So, better go see how she's getting on. JOY!

what prattles.....

Sunday, September 26, 2004

What animal......

I'm a Horse:
Caring, free-spirited, and full of compassion. You are well-loved and for all the right reasons. You enjoy the company of others & try to keep them happy, making you a 1st class friend. You want a warm place to call home, but you always have the urge to escape.

Who would have thought. hehe

Now - do we really believe the wisdom that comes with these quizes?

Friday, September 24, 2004

home sweet home....

Righty ho....

Slowly getting over the hay fever episodes which always seem to take over when I head North to spend time on the farm. It's quite classic..... people ask what I'm so allergic to up there.... simple really. My Brothers! :o)

Really, I have no idea..... Cambridge isn't anywhere near the ocean, so I wonder if all the pollen just hangs around alot more there? Whatever it is..... I'm obviously not meant to live there!

Had a fantastic flight from Hamilton to Wellington. Nice early flight, and wow, I've never experiences a plane wobbling from side to side before we had even left the runway! Great amount of turbulance for the first half of the flight. I didn't think they would ever be able to serve coffee. Better than a rollercoaster today. The landing to Wellington was pretty tame really in comparison. The flight to Christchurch from Wellington was very quiet. I even got two seats to myself.

So, after planning on heading North for 4 days, 2 weeks later I return.

2 weeks of perhaps avoiding thinking, because thinking just blew my mind. hahaha That probably makes no sense. I left with this job being my main thought, and stupidly thinking that, once I'd figured out that aspect, I could then figure out the rest of my life. It never works that way. And today I was reading about how we so often wonder through life saying - once this area of my life is sorted out I can think about these other things.... but we need to just grab everything and work on it now!!
The conditions will never be perfect, and comfortable enough for us to feel that we can "safely" figure out the other areas of our life. It's a wonderful thought, but we could spend all our lives waiting for those so called conditions to come along. I want to live seriously, now!

So..... while the job kind of got blown out of the water, the realisation that I did love my job so much has surfaced again, and perhaps the passion that had kind of dwindled with the idea that they really didn't want me doing it is back! I need to figure out a way to convince the head office that this is not a waste, and a position that needs to be there. But I'm more aware of the fact that it needs to be there idea. Typical, huh.
I went into work this afternoon... feeling very clogged up, but ready to see the chaos that had mounted up while I was away. The manager of the store just said my boss has been running around like a headless chicken, super stressed with everything he's been trying to get done. Poor guy. I really did leave him in the lurch, and with so many jobs on the go. I had a massive stack of notes telling me to call people. Shane had called me the other day on my cell to see what was going on. haha. I know he was really checking up on me to see how I was doing, but also wondered about a job that he'd talked to John about. Nothing had happened yet. I asked if they realised that they actually needed me there..... the manager said he was very aware of it - but head office didn't have a clue.

So... abit of an issue... but i will get a contract sorted out!

Ahhhh... I'm prattling big time.....

My head is still kind of swimming - not being able to sit down and just write was getting to me while I was home. Had to revert to the old journal, and writing things at night instead. All good.

Right..... while it's still very early, think I'm going to go relish in the joys of being home, and having my own bed again! Ahhhhhhhh... blissssssss

Thursday, September 23, 2004


So.... I'm still up in Cambridge, keeping semi sane on the farm. Mum is back now with Diana, so I'm not quite so alone any more.
Dad is still up in Auckland sorting through all of Nana's things with his brother and sisters. Actually sounds like they are very organised, and getting through everything quickly. Mum is dreading the things which are going to come back down here. He has this great knack for collectiong "JUNK". he's even asked mum to bring up the horse float in the weekend. Doesn't sound like a good start! hehe
Still..... to know that he's getting to hang out with his family, and get through everything together is wonderful. He will have had 2 weeks off by the end of it all, and i think he's looking better for it.
Seeing your dad cry is something else.
The funeral was beautiful, and I know Nana would have loved it. Tamati did a reading, and shared abit about nana, as did John... Dad then spoke - with his siblings standing there with him to support him. He did an awesome job.... but you could see him struggle through some of it.

ahhhhhhh... just thinking about it makes me tear up.

Anyway... i need to sort out my flights home now. Good thing Jeremy told me to take the week off. Allergies are wreaking havok on me, as they always do up here. I need to get out of here. haha


Sunday, September 19, 2004

chapter ends

Nana died this morning.....
Dad said it was all very peaceful....

and while I managed to make it through the day pretty well.... I want to avoid going to bed now.

Feeling so horribly alone. I don't think anything would change, regardless of whether or not there were people around now.... I don't know what I want? One of those moments where a shoulder to cry on would be nice, but not the awkward words that always seem to come. I'm glad that she died so quickly, and she wasn't in any pain. And I know that she had a great life... so in a way it's all great, but it still hurts to know that the last grandparent has gone. That I didn't get to spend any real time with her after she got sick. Everything happened so quickly in the end. The fact that I got up here at all was pretty amazing. Timing was perfect.
Last time anyone said anything to me about nana she was doing fine, and I didn't need to worry about getting up here. Things changed so quickly.

So, the funeral will be on Tuesday.... and I need to get my flight sorted out to get home, and Mum will need to figure out how she is going to get up here from nelson in time. I have no idea what time her flight was on tuesday, but suspect that it will be too late.

I'm just tired..... and lonely. Something I don't like feeling.....

the sun will come out......

Saturday, September 18, 2004

tum te tum....

Just home from catching up with a couple of the cousins....

Alex came home this afternoon, and we both ended up zonking out completely. I woke up just after 6, and honestly thought it was tomorrow morning. Freaked out of bed when I realised what time it really was, and we were supposed to be in Hamilton at 7. NUTS! Still had to feed the calves too.

All was good, and we headed out for Indian. (Believe it or not.... was not even my choice, but everone else was craving it for a change!) Very yummy - though I'm so full now. Alex is just getting ready for work, and while I'm semi awake, know I will crash as soon as I get into bed. Can't quite figure out why I'm still not feeling well. Is it just everything that is going on here, or what?
Read Dad's speach that he's written to read at nana's funeral. Very sweet. Seems I'm really seeing another side of Dad here. Showing much more emotion than is normal - though i know is always there. He's such a softie.
I've been left with the funeral order to get done... tomorrow? I'm really itching to do some painting around the house too though. Need to get down to the hardware store tomorrow to pick up some stuff. I don't think I'm really going to get much painting done.... but I can get some filling done, no worries.

No animals have died on me yet! YEHAAAAA. When mum left I told her I would take no responsibility for any dead goats - which is typically what dies on me while I'm here alone. No idea why - and yes, a coincidence to the core, but certainly not something that I enjoy happening while I'm here.

Anyway.... should go sleep.....
I've had no huge big thoughts that I need to get out there.... though I am perhaps a wee bit on the lonely side here. besides Mandy, there isn't really anyone around to listen to my prattling.... and Mandy being a dog and all, doesn't really offer a whole lot of wisdom. (Or maybe I just lack understanding?)


life is.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

frustration..... in Tablespoon proportions!!

What a funny ol' life this is.

Yes, i could sit here and laugh till I'm blue in the face..... but, I won't.

Mum and Diana left for Nelson today - they are supposed to be staying down there for the Wearable Arts show.... meanwhile, the whole Nana thing has thrown everything into a different kind of chaos - but as is normal in these crazy moments, I've been left with the farm to look after! How, I must ask, does this happen to me. Especially when I'm the one who lives down in Christchurch, and should be at work?!!
Dad left for Nanas yesterday, and by the sounds of thing all the kids had a good day with nana. She's struggling more with her breathing now, and not eating or drinking anything.
Yesterday was the first time I've ever seen my dad cry. Quite a moment to see him so vulnerable. Of course, I was just kept having small moments throughout the day. Waiting is hard, but at the same time.... gives you the space and time to think about things, and somehow prepare for what is coming.
I don't quite now how you prepare for what you know will bring more tears? Waterproof mascara anyone? (Yes, mine was left at home!!! )

Sorry.... sleepy here.... still sick... more antibiotics to consume....


Monday, September 13, 2004


I flew up to Auckland on Friday for my job interview.... the big day spent with the potential new boss.
It was a gorgeous flight up, and I actually managed to keep my nerves in check - but that could possibly be because I had taken so many pain killers, and other pills to ease everything else I was feeling.
I just happened to arrive after the All Blacks, to the delight of the Lady who was picking me up, which was great. Had I not been told - would I have noticed? Maybe?

It was interesting to have a look around head office and meet some faces to go with the voices that I hear often at the end of the phone. Not quite what I expected, but when is it ever? All went well, and I ended up spending some time with the girl who was hired to work in Auckland. She was lovely, and super passionate about her job. It was during that time I realised that while she was passionate about what she was doing now... so am I, and I don't want to leave that behind - especially for this job. It would not be me. I could maybe stomach it for a short period of time - but long term. NO. I would be bored to tears, and ready for a change again. Not helpful for the company to spend money on me, and then not get the better deal.
So - have yet to ring Judith to let her know my decision, which I'm not excatly looking forward to. Yes.... I'm putting it off. haha
I did ring John to talk to him about it all today - which was great. Super helpful. He agreed with me, that it would be stupid for me to go ahead and run with it, if I really wasn't going to enjoy it - and yes, he thought I would get bored. Not quite what either of us imagined the job to be in the long term. Funny that!

meanwhile - the timing with everything has been good. Can't help but feel that God had the bigger picture in mind when he got me up here. I got to see Nana on Saturday - from a distance, because I'm still pretty sick.... but still got to talk to her. She wasn't looking too good, and has been getting worse very quickly. I'm supposed to fly back down tomorrow - but looks like I will stay up here until the end of the week.
It's so hard seeing someone who has always been so solid, and alive become a shadow of her former self. to see her slip away.
The doctor doesn't think she will last much longer..... just hanging on till Moana gets here tomorrow. I know John will be heartbroken that he didn't get to see her again.... he just got married on Saturday, and rang here after talking to nana that night. He's been calling her often, and said she still had words of advice for him when he called. When she last wrote to me, she sent a list of things to think about in regards to marriage. Classic stuff!!
She's having trouble breathing now, which is the worst part. You can't wish for someone to hang on, and stay around when they aren't able to do things that we just take for granted.
Margy is up here, which is great, and Dad is heading up tomorrow to pick up Moana from the airport - so all the kids will be with her tomorrow. I won't get to see her again...... makes me sad that I didn't get to spend any time with her before now... but was very cool to keep getting the letters while she's been sick. Our little correspondence.
Dad was going through pictures tonight... looking for ones with her in. I had one when I was 11 I think.... at Papakura.... super smiley Nana..... always a rock, but so encouraging.

I'm not ready for a funeral.... it all feels rather sureal and too fast.

ahhhhhhhhhh... the circle of life.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

abit of the grumps.....

HAHA! Not a good omen to start off any blog with - right! And what was I saying about attitude being everything?!

I'm not really grumpy - aware that I am tired though, and it was a long day. Tuesday's are always alittle harder. Going straight from work to Bible School, and then catching up with Jacx afterwards.

Worship was really fun!! New songs, which were pretty hard... you realise how much you rely on the band, and there being so few of us - it's great, but hard too.
Still - i enjoy having these small groups - you can hear the harmonies, and we kind of know where the other person is going to go with the song.... just because we are tighter. Hard to get lost when there are only 4 of you. :o)
So... I'm going to stretch them abit more next week - introducing a totally new song!! WOHOO!!!
I think Jacx was a little taken aback at the idea, but I'm still keen to run with it. I just feel that it's such the appropriate song to do at VLI!!
Watch this space!!!

Managed to get through 3 quotes today. WOHOOOO!!! Was motoring through them. Managed to make one store $20K which is pretty good for a days work. haha. They were pretty pleased with it all. And here was John saying it was going to be a slow month for us. Not if I have my way. Still chassing up a couple more jobs that I would really like to get..... especially if I'm not going to be doing this for long.
Fun fun!
Shane was very despondent at the idea of me not being around to work for them. He doesn't even know John - but was just..... oh..... what an inconvenience! haha. nice to know that he's going to miss me. Actually - he's talking about coming down in a couple of weeks... so will be good to catch up with him then. Drag him off to church. :o) Figure it will help him to see where the Rock is heading.... get a bigger picture!

Righty ho... better go grab some zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzs


Monday, September 06, 2004

ever get the feeling?

Had cell group tonight, and I haven't been in ages. In fact, it had almost got the point where I felt pretty much out of that group, and could either take it, or leave it.

Anyway.... bit the bullet and went along. Actually was spurred on by a girl at church on Sunday. Got talking after the service with her and her husband. I'd never really talked to them before, and it was a wow. I mean nothing out of this world - but it was a conversation with people that grabbed me. I don't know how to explain it at all...... and feel like I'm not explaining it at all. I guess I've gone through this period of staying out of it... not wanting to interact with people as much as I have wanted to in the past. this kind of woke me up. There are cool people out there! I have to stop protecting myself, and believing that I have nothing to offer them.

So... was talking to her, and it gave me the motivation to just get out there again. And it was a great night.
I still need bigger things to chew on, more conversation, but it was still a good night. Got to catch up with some people I haven't seen in a while.....

Man - I'm sounding so selfish!!

There is more to it than what I get out of it!!

Meanwhile - after all of this, I realised again how important it is for me to check my attitude. If I go around grumping, I'm going to be grumpy... If I believe the worst ... it will happen!!
I'm not a super negative person, but I can have a pretty pathetic attitude at times! Crazy stuff.

A farmers mule fell into a well. Since there no way to get him out, the farmer decided to bury him there. But the mile had a different idea. Initially, when the shovels of dirt stated landing on his back, he became hysterical. Then this thought struck him; "Just shake it off, and step on it." So he did. Hour after hour, as the dirt fell on him, he kept telling himself, "Just shake it off, and step on it!"
No matter how much dirt they threw on him, he just kept shaking it off and stepping on it until finally , he stepped triumphantly out of the well.
Life will either bury or bless you; the difference lies in having the right attitude. When they throw dirt on you - and they will - just shake it off, and step on it. Use it as fertilizer and grow stronger!
~ Bob Gass

So looking forward to heading up to Auckland!! More looking forward to being on the farm!! Hanging out in the mud with the animals.... like my brothers and Mandy, all the horses!! YAY!!
Big news for Fathers Day - my little brother got engaged. Yes, David and Kirsten are getting married. Sounds like it may be in March next year... so here comes another year filled with weddings! hehe. Sounds like the first half of the year will be spent with me flying North again.
Talked to Tamati and Tessa today, who are super excited about it all. Decided we'd have to have a Whanau dinner on Sunday night so that I could meet this girl, and catch up with everyone else!! YAY!!

Benny is heading back up on Wednesday - and yes, the movie reversal is in action - only I quite want to see this movie, so all good! :o) Cheeky, huh!
He's got wisdom teeth issues right now.... poor guy. needed to talk to our wonderful resident hygenist for advice on how to deal with it all. Quite amazing the network which we've got going on around here.... need something - probably know someone who can help out! Brilliant stuff! :o)

Right.... eyes are getting blurry.....

au revoir

Saturday, September 04, 2004

what it means.....


Pretty full on couple of days.

Still feeling really tired, and fully aware that this next week is going to be full on. John is away for the week, and I've got quite a few quotes to get done - as well as deal with everything else that will be thrown my way. Not complaining at all!! Especially when I think that this may be my last real week in the job. Have lots of people that I actually need to touch base with, sort out some jobs... yada yada yada.... yay!

Spent last night and pretty much all of today at a Praise and Worship workshop with the Senior Pastor and his wife of our church in Melbourne, Australia. Still buzzing from it all now, 6 hours later. So many different issues, points and encouraging moments to keep me going. I kind of just want to swim around in it all, and let it keep washing over me. I have so much to learn, and so far to go, and still wonder where exactly I'm supposed to be focussing my energies?!
Praise and Worship is certainly my passion...... although I think for a while that passion pretty much waned.... dimished somewhat in the last year. The passion is still there - but the egotistical thinking probably was too.....
Yes, I can hear Jiljane singing to me.....
"It's all about meeeeeeeeeeee"
And that's not what I want to be like..... that's not the person I'm trying to be......

Today was an eyeopener. Seeing these two people so on fire, and so full of wisdom. (Not to mention the challenge going out from them to stretch ourselves, to never stop learning and growing in our own ways..... how big is your vocab? How can you write an interesting song, captivating people without having knowledge and power? )
So, at the end of the day, we got into groups, and wrote a song. It was hillarious, and we laughed alot!! But more than that, with the encouragement we came up with something quite cool!!
It was such a buzz to hear peoples wise words at the end of it all.... and to actually hear something that was created - in less than an hour, in pressure circustances.... totally awesome!
A thrill to be apart of that! The encouragement that came with it all just blew me away. Now - to finish it!! The challenge has been laid, and I so want to just keep rolling with it.
Better than that - was working with Jiljane, which meant that I got to experience something that we could keep working on. It reminded me that regardless of where we are - we do work well together, balancing eachother out, and somehow making good!


Mikey Mans birthday over in England...... and yeah, he does feel a million miles away. Sms are few and far between - which is hardly surprising.... but sad. Funny how life kind of just takes off, and while you're busy, there are those small moments where you realise life has made another turn, and its all beginning to change again in some small ways.
That has far more to do with the job, and the flying up to see my nana but Mike gets thrown into it all too for the moment. Oh - having benny back too. hehe Madness, I tell you.

Had a super quick catch up with Bethany today. YAY!! Miss her bunches. Sounds like she's having a frantic summer, but enjoying all of the challenges. All these people back in the States that keep kind of drawing me over there.....

"Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed." ~Storm Jameson

on that note.....

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

scarlet woman

Good to know that I continue to fit into that unpredictable, and slightly abnormal mould.

Got a call from the Doctor today. She had left a message for me at home on Monday, asking me to call her, as she had got some more results from my bloods that she wanted to talk about. Dread.
It was kind of confusing, as I had spoken to her on Friday about my results, so I was kind of - huh?
Anyway.... finally got to speak to her, and low and behold - my mother was right. I had scarlet fever. NUTS!
I had scarlet fever when I was 10, and had just moved to NZ... everything was crazy at that stage. At the same time, it was all terribly romantic. I was busy watching Anne of Green Gables on tv at the time, and Gilbet Blythe had it at the same time as me. Perfect timing.
I was sick for weeks then.
So, when mum suggested that it might be that again I had to go and read up on it. Of course first problem with this diagnosis was the fact that it is mostly found in children, ages between 4 and 18. It is also very rare for someone to get it again.
So... there we have it - while I thought I just had moments of acting 18, it would seem that my body believes it is still somewhere in that age group, and will totally disregard such stats. I'm still feeling pretty run down, and certainly have my itchy moments - but otherwise... doing pretty well, considering I only had 2 days off - good thing I had the weekend in bed too. :o)

On that note.... I was so tired today - partly because ben and I were yacking way later than I have in a while, and just getting over everything. So.... just thinking I better go pick up ben and then get to bed.

Only other profound moment. Someone told me today that I was acting more like CJ again....

I have certainly been laughing more again..... why?


Tuesday, August 31, 2004

blue moon...

Yes, tonight is the night of the blue moon!! Looks beautiful too.

A bit of madness to boot. :o)

Benny called last night to let me know that he was back in the country.... yay!! Of course, this also meant dealing with the fact that his car has been a garden ornament for the last 2 months. Yes, a sore point in my life......

So... he came into work today, which meant I also got to catch up with his Mum too, which is always fun! Tonight, he was lucky enough to be around for a chickflick!! What a lucky guy. Such perfect timing - not everyone is as lucky as to get to join me at such an event. (Yes, there were a few tears shed)
From there - Mexican. YUMMY stuff.... even went for a corona, which I haven't had in ages. Time flies when you're just catching up with someone. Has been great.
So now he's crashed out in the living room.... not even sure if I'll see him again before he leaves? Be abit of a bummer....

He kind of threw a spanner in my world by asking if I would be interested in joining him on the hollyford track, working at one of the huts along the walkway for the summer.....
actually sounds like quite an awesome job for 6 months! Pretty much doing all the cooking and cleaning in the hut while people are staying, which is only every other day, and it's only 10 days on 4 days off - which would be sweet. Pretty busy, but very cool! :o) Tough one, especially when I have my interview in Auckland next Friday. Hmmmmmmmm... could pretty much say that I would be paid more doing this one, then the security, but it's only 6 months - which is a bonus, and not all at the same time. Could save my pennies furiously, and then just take off. Yes, the idea of just saying goodbye to the obligations and responsibilities of my life. hahaha

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........... will have to let that one fester. Jiljane just stared at me when she realised I was actually taking this seriously.
Kayaking during the days, hanging out in the bush when there wasn't anyone staying.... what a tough summer... the rest of the time, socialising, cooking... ok cleaning I could skip - but I can handle it too.... love the whole hospitality thing... would be a good breakin period to see if I would actually enjoy the backpacker life style. :o)

All madness....
with those thoughts - I go to howl at the moon.

Ka kite