Saturday, November 25, 2006

mucking around

I went and got a whole lot of photos printed last night, and must say I'm really happy with some of them. A few didn't come out with very good contrast at all, but I guess I'll just have to keep looking around at different places to get prints done.
I'm thinking so far, the online company has been the best.

Anyway.... now I have most of my pics on this computer - so I can start posting them again. :) hehehe

I'm heading over to the beach shortly for a friends 30th birthday. We're going cruising around the Tauranga Harbour tonight, so praying for gorgeous weather. It was a stunning clear night last night - where the stars were seriously twinkling. Hopefully tonight will be more of the same.
So, staying down there at some snazzy place on the beach with another friend that I haven't seen in AGES.

Tomorrow I'm heading up to Auckland to catch up with some friends from Christchurch who are up for the U2 concert. Will be nice to hang out with them for a couple of hours... no doubt at the airport - but hey, I'm willing to do these mad things!

I found this perfect little plot of land...... and think it would be a perfect setting for a bed and breakfast place.
I haven't rung to find out how much they are wanting for it.... knowing full well I can't afford to buy, but it's certainly something that's been placed on my heart. How does one go forward in living out their dreams???

Peace to you all.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

thoughts flying.....

I realised that I hadn't stuck up a photo of Mike with Kate which is pretty slack. I need to go and find my memory card from the camera and fix that. I have just the pic too stick up here too.

It's kind of funny.... thinking about that wedding. I guess Mike really was the first of my closest guy friends to get married. The beginning of the letting go.
And in turn.... benny not coming to the wedding with me, and having his girl friend over here seems to have changed our relationship as well. I haven't heard from him since he was driving up to the airport, and I have left a few messages for him.

I'm not dwelling, just thinking.

New seasons are something that we have to deal with. I'm choosing to smile and remember all the awesome times, laughs and love that I have for these two people. Whether or not that is returned is ok.

I've had a bit of a mad week. Emotionally.

Maybe I'm just figuring out more about who I am, and who I want to be.
(Of course I know this is always going on - but I'm certainly more away of things right now)

In typical enthusiastic CJ form I got all excited about a master plan that had formed somewhere in my wacky mind. I had rung Shane last week to tell him about super cheap flights up to Hamilton this weekend. He's been saying he needs a break, and I figured a weekend up here wouldn't be a bad break for him. Anyway... he had all sorts going on this week - but we somehow started talking about the U2 concert.

I got all carried away looking for tickets, and flights, and........
He called while I was at work on Friday - and I was busy doing some orders, so said I would call back. When I called he wasn't around so I left a super long, excited, garbled message about tickets and flights and ..... yes, it was typical of me, but way beyond what most people are like.

Now..... I spoke to him briefly after that when he called while I was getting my haircut, and since then it's been a game of phone tag.

I felt like I had to ring him and apologise for my enthusiasm, and for the way that I got carried away with planning and everything else.... but at the same time, I don't want to. I don't see why I need to apologise for who I am!

So, I'm not going to.

I really feel as though I'm being led to who I'm meant to be. It's not a particularly nice walk. In fact, kind of lonely right now... as I stumble and compromise, and forget - but, I really do believe that in the end, I'll be more of who I'm meant to be.
And that feels good.

Eventually, I'll meet the people who understand, and get excited and want to do wacky things with me. Till then, I'll try to choose carefully and not take it personally when I get that funny look from someone, which clearly says - are you for real?

Saturday, November 11, 2006

next wedding.....

So, Mike and Kate tied the knot.

I can't believe how long ago that was already.

I flew down early Friday morning, and arrived in Christchurch in time for lunch with my old flatmate Jackie and friend, JJ. Was absolutely gorgeous. Really girly chat, sitting up on the hill, catching up.
Certainly food for the soul.

I think we were there for over 3 hours. Then Jackie and I went to check out a movie. Laughed ourselves silly.... before I had to go and pick up the rental car.

The adventure continued from there......

Because the wedding was in Alexandra (about 5 hours south of Christchurch), I had arranged to stay with Ben's mother in Geraldine. Was quite lovely, as she's just moved, so I got to see her new abode, and catch up with her on everything that had been happening.

The next day was a slow start before I got all dressed up, and took off on the next leg for the BIG day.

Arrived with time to spare, and got to have a quick catch up with Mike.

I don't like my chances of ever getting another photo of him dressed up..... so had to grab a few.

It was a gorgeous day, and the ceremony, lovely.

I actually got to meet Mikes old flatmates, who I'd obviously heard alot about - though funnily, they knew very little about me! Anyway... it was quite lovely to meet them.

Hillary and James. I actually need to write to Hillary. We have big plans on catching up at some stage. Hopefully we can do that.

As it turned out, it was fine not having ben there to keep me company - though I haven't heard from him since he called to say he was sorry that he stuffed up. I guess he's too busy with Sarah. His mum was hillarious about it all. She couldn't believe that he would just blow me off like that. Ah, but that's ben for you. Pity. It would have been nice to have caught up on everything, and heard about his big adventures. It just hurt that I wasn't important enough to make that bit of an effort.

Anyway... as is always the way, when you're thrown in those sorts of situations, you make it work, and I guess you're that much more likely to make the effort to meet the people around you.

I stayed the night at Dansey's Pass... which was awesome. It was the most amazing stary night you could imagine. Just blew me away that the stars could be that much brighter!!!

The next day I drove back up to Christchurch, and ended up having a very improptue dinner at a pizza place with some friends. And wow... was it nice to catch up with them!!!!

There were a few tears when I had to jump on the plane and leave Christchurch again, but I know this is where I'm meant to be.

I'll be feeling much better about it all when I've got some friends. When my phone rings. And when I don't have to go and do everything on my lonesome. hehehe.

The joys of growing up, huh.

The quote of the week.

"Pain is God's megaphone" ~ CS Lewis

playing... catch up.......

OK.... so I've actually got some spare minutes, and I don't think anyone is going to come along and say they need to use the computer, so I'm playing around.

You'll have to give me some feed back as to what the thoughts are on the new look.