Saturday, October 23, 2004

finding out....


The week has kinda zoomed, and at the same time been soooo long. I haven't had a whole lot of time to sit... in fact, emails have been left for today to be replied to - which is unlike me.

Went and had dinner with friends last night that I haven't just hung out with in over a year. I was quite good friends with Paul before he got married.... but things so often change after marriage. It's been super good for him, and I so appreciate both him and Les.

So... long weekend is upon us... and yesterday, while being swomped in quotes that are half finished, and still sitting on my desk.... kind of whispering at me to head in there later today to get them finished, I just wanted to bolt... thoughts of heading to Auckland, Tonga, Bali, Sydney last minute to just get away from everything here. A change of scene with some different company.... to laugh at life, and all it's little quirks.
Alas, I chose the wrong person to make these suggestions to - and surprise, I've been perceived as being someone who gets "Attached" easily.
Hmmmmmmm..... Agreed, there are few people out there with whome I feel I can sit and be myself, and I felt that Mike was be one of them. Maybe I'm wrong..... funny how people read more into something... or maybe it's just funny how people perceive different situations? or handly friendships?
I've known that the friendship has meant more to me.... no doubt about that one. He is one of these people who likes people, but is fiercely independent, and doesn't actually ever need to have anyone around. There are times where he'd enjoy company, but few and far between.....

While I enjoy being alone.... I also love being around people who make me laugh, and make me think... and accept me.
I wanted a weekend where I could just be.

Anyway.... that's the way it goes. We learn and grow, and friends come and go in our lives.... and right about now.... he has loudly said.... fizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. lol

Funny for someone who likes to think of themselves as being independent - how dependent I am on people in my life. Good/Bad? both, I'm sure!


I stayed up super late the other night because I couldn't put the book down. "Never Change" , which was about a guy who was diagnosed with a brain tumour, and was being nursed by a girl that he went to school with. Both are in their 50's. It was just beautifully written... but yes, what was I thinking reading about someone who dies of a brain tumour??? hahaha. There was this glimmer of hope in me, that just maybe, he would live. Nope..... so I cried bucketloads.....

But it was a good book.

Next book... far more lighthearted. :o)

Right... the day is going... and washing waiting to be hung out. Murky kind of day.... Ains leaves on Monday for Oz for a couple of months.... watch this space as the house dynamics take another shift in the breeze.


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