so the first star I see tonight.......
Do I believe in wishes coming true? wishing on stars.....
Need to go and pack for my flight to Wellington tomorrow - early no less. :) Figure I'll just drive to the airport myself and leave the car there. Easier than sorting out rides. (In my head, anyway!)
But oh, what to take? hehehe. Actually - it's more a matter of getting all my work together to take up there, which will weigh way more than my clothes. Sad, really.
Jackie is taking off to Vietnam this weekend, and is super excited about it all. Excellent stuff! She's gone for two weeks, and is so looking forward to the adventures. Sounds like she's pretty much got it all planned.
I need to go and sniff around perfumes to see which one to get duty free. YAY! Haven't splurged on something like that in so long. Ains cracks me up with her fancyfree ways.... I told her she would have to teach me in the ways of "makeup" one of these days... when I feel the need to be all serious about the fact that I may have wrinkles, and what I should actually be doing about them?! She's a real girl - and I can but try.
Though.... I like the lines in old people... I figure as long as I laugh enough, they will be the right kind of wrinkles... in all the right places. :)
Anyway.... I'm in awe of the two flatmates..... and how we seem to blend so well, when we are all so different. They were beautiful yesterday... and I do feel blessed knowing that I have that support. We all ran off to see Bride and Prejudice, and left the movie theatre in fits of laughter - while trying to figure out all the gorgeous moves. Inspired me to head over there soon though! The colours, and sounds, and beauty - while still being a poor country. It's like an oxymoron.
But then there are so many countries like that. So many places to visit and experience! ahhhhhh.... enough dreaming.
For now, wellington will have to do. hahaha
Would love to find time to run to Te Papa to see the art exhibition. That's the one thing that is actually motivating me to still go up there. Insane, really. We shall see! :)
Right - packing.
night
Monday, May 30, 2005
Sunday, May 29, 2005
pounding.....
what a day.....
I woke up and found a friend online when I jumped onto the computer.... Julie and I have been chatting alot lately, which is always super cool. Not only cause I appreciate her sound advice, and the fact that she is always more than real with me - but I get to hear her accent too! hehehe.
Seriously... I didn't get to talk to her today because I was already chatting to a long lost friend who used to live here, but has moved to London now. It was all kinda nuts, cause I was trying to talk to a friend of a friends - but she ended up being at the house. Nice surprise. :)
From there, I managed to get myself out the door to church - knowing full well that I was not in a great space yet, but needed to be there. I think I only went because I had to take Ain's salad and a present for Les. I managed to make it through most of the praise and worship before I felt the tears sting the corners of my eyes.
Then it was all over, rover.
I stood there, eyes firmly closed - wondering if that would stop then from cascading down my cheeks? Who was I kiding?!
I think I managed to mostly regain my composure - as much as I ever have, and when it came time for the kids to leave for their classes I did what any twisted, gut wrenched person would do. I bolted!
I felt stiffled, and unable to breathe while I was inside - knowing full well it was all me and my mind, but all I could think about was getting out and heading to the beach. I wanted to pound my way up the long beach.... have the air blow my hair around.... and just have the space to scream if I wanted.
I got to the beach.... sunbeams galour. There were even somes guys out there surfing.... the waves doing some serious crashing around them. I'd gone home to change my shoes and grab my down jacket. So, bundled up, and then headed out. The wind is always quite chilly out there... but it felt good. Almost had a numbing effect on me. I jumped and thuded and let loose on the sand, while thinking inside.... what on earth is going on?!
I wish I had the answers, and the ability to actual describe the feelings which are rampaging their way through so many twists and turns - but I don't.
It felt good to be out there... and I know that I needed that time to myself to get alot of it out of my system.
I eventually came home - knowing full well I was going to have to face Jacx and the phone call which I so wanted to avoid. Avoid it, I did for a while..... the phone would ring, and I just switched it off. terrible, and immature - I'm fully aware of it all..... but I knew the questions, and didn't know the answers, so felt it was all a little pointless. We would both get frustrated.
Eventually - Jackie came home, and she ended up answering the phone. DRAT!
hehehe.... childish - yes!
So, I couldn't hide anymore.
Still... it was just as I imagined. I didn't know what to tell her. I don't have the answers yet...
I wish I could snap my fingers and go.... ahhhhhh, so that's what all this is about, but I can't!
I want to blame someone, or something - but I can't.
It boils down, pretty much to a rejection that just won't go away and leave me alone. As hard as I try to be positive, and accepting of myself.... it boils down to a hate that seems to be deeper than I can just pick out of my life. It's burrowed so far down into my very being that I don't even know where to start in getting rid of it. I hate myself. And while it sounds stupid, selfish, and so totally self absorbed - it's not even something I want to think about..... I just loathe me.
Tough when everywhere you go, there you are.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
I know it's not who I am, but I can't seem to shake it. It's exhausting, and childish, and lonely. But trying to explain it makes me feel even more stupid.
On that note....
I think I can go crawl into my hole now.
Ka kite
I woke up and found a friend online when I jumped onto the computer.... Julie and I have been chatting alot lately, which is always super cool. Not only cause I appreciate her sound advice, and the fact that she is always more than real with me - but I get to hear her accent too! hehehe.
Seriously... I didn't get to talk to her today because I was already chatting to a long lost friend who used to live here, but has moved to London now. It was all kinda nuts, cause I was trying to talk to a friend of a friends - but she ended up being at the house. Nice surprise. :)
From there, I managed to get myself out the door to church - knowing full well that I was not in a great space yet, but needed to be there. I think I only went because I had to take Ain's salad and a present for Les. I managed to make it through most of the praise and worship before I felt the tears sting the corners of my eyes.
Then it was all over, rover.
I stood there, eyes firmly closed - wondering if that would stop then from cascading down my cheeks? Who was I kiding?!
I think I managed to mostly regain my composure - as much as I ever have, and when it came time for the kids to leave for their classes I did what any twisted, gut wrenched person would do. I bolted!
I felt stiffled, and unable to breathe while I was inside - knowing full well it was all me and my mind, but all I could think about was getting out and heading to the beach. I wanted to pound my way up the long beach.... have the air blow my hair around.... and just have the space to scream if I wanted.
I got to the beach.... sunbeams galour. There were even somes guys out there surfing.... the waves doing some serious crashing around them. I'd gone home to change my shoes and grab my down jacket. So, bundled up, and then headed out. The wind is always quite chilly out there... but it felt good. Almost had a numbing effect on me. I jumped and thuded and let loose on the sand, while thinking inside.... what on earth is going on?!
I wish I had the answers, and the ability to actual describe the feelings which are rampaging their way through so many twists and turns - but I don't.
It felt good to be out there... and I know that I needed that time to myself to get alot of it out of my system.
I eventually came home - knowing full well I was going to have to face Jacx and the phone call which I so wanted to avoid. Avoid it, I did for a while..... the phone would ring, and I just switched it off. terrible, and immature - I'm fully aware of it all..... but I knew the questions, and didn't know the answers, so felt it was all a little pointless. We would both get frustrated.
Eventually - Jackie came home, and she ended up answering the phone. DRAT!
hehehe.... childish - yes!
So, I couldn't hide anymore.
Still... it was just as I imagined. I didn't know what to tell her. I don't have the answers yet...
I wish I could snap my fingers and go.... ahhhhhh, so that's what all this is about, but I can't!
I want to blame someone, or something - but I can't.
It boils down, pretty much to a rejection that just won't go away and leave me alone. As hard as I try to be positive, and accepting of myself.... it boils down to a hate that seems to be deeper than I can just pick out of my life. It's burrowed so far down into my very being that I don't even know where to start in getting rid of it. I hate myself. And while it sounds stupid, selfish, and so totally self absorbed - it's not even something I want to think about..... I just loathe me.
Tough when everywhere you go, there you are.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
I know it's not who I am, but I can't seem to shake it. It's exhausting, and childish, and lonely. But trying to explain it makes me feel even more stupid.
On that note....
I think I can go crawl into my hole now.
Ka kite
Saturday, May 28, 2005
home again, with head exploding....
It always takes a while for me to get my head around being back home. It's always with such relief that I lay my head on my own pillow, that I snuggle down beneath the sheets that cover the plush wool underlay that I sink into to sleep a deep sleep......
Nowhere will beat my room, with my comforts which may to some be simple.
This trip did err on the side of social. Had the most stunning drive up the coast to Kaikoura, onto Blenheim which was all lovely. Even got to sink into a spa bath on the first night - which was lovely. Onto Nelson the following day. They were all rather full days, with driving through little towns which proved less than useful, but still rather nice to stumble across.
Stayed with some friends in Nelson that I hadn't seen since Tamati's wedding. Was great to catch up with Jill. John was asking me all the hard questions - my 5 year plan, and how I'm going to get there. While Jill is just super encouraging. Had a great time there. The next night Mike flew down, and so we stayed out there... but didn't spend as much time with them. Even got to see Jill's father who I haven't seen in YONKS! Thursday and Friday were spent again checking out the smaller places to see if there was anything out there. By Thursday night I was totally zonked. We made it to Maruia Springs where the hot springs were the perfect end to the day of galavanting around the country side.
made it back yesterday to watch Star Wars. Even managed to stay awake through the whole thing - though my eyes did get very heavy at one stage. I think I actually found it funnier than I should have. hehehe. Still, can see how it all ties in nicely with the next one now. Still don't think George Lucas should ever be allowed to try and do a love scene. Just not a good combination!
So.... Mike survived the driving around, and we didn't kill eachother. Was awesome to catch up with him and just be. I guess thats one of the things I appreciate most about him - is the fact that I don't need to be anyone else. While I still struggle to let go of everything, and somehow the fear of getting hurt (while I don't even know how I could get hurt) does throw me over the edge of reason, he's the one I most want to talk to about things. The one who won't be afriad of asking me the bigger questions, making me think about it from all angles. Paranio seems to be my friend, which is not typical, and not a nice thing to suddenly realise you are experiencing. Julie just laughs at me and my insane ways. But can I expect people to be patient and put up with it all?
Off to catch up with jacx shortly. Pumpkin soup has been made, and will be nice to see her. Turns out she had a dream about me last night - which tied in with everything I told her today. Bummer she had no answers for me though.
Catching up with Erin later today, and then tonight Tim and Euganie are coming round for dinner and a game of something? Will be great to catch up with them both. Feel like I hardly see them these days.
Next week is more madness..... Wellington for a couple of days - and was supposed to be flying up for Queensbirthday, but thinking it makes more sense to leave that one till later on. Eevryone I could catch up with is busy doing other things, and while a weekend away is never a bad thing, in my current state of mind, being given the space to spend all that time on my own thinking - can't be good!
Oh - officially an aunty today too..... Tawhi was born around 5 this morning. YAY! So, in theory, I should really be flying north to see them instead! Tamati is super excited, and says he's just BEAUTIFUL! :)
Really need to get a camera now, so I can get snap happy!
Adios
Nowhere will beat my room, with my comforts which may to some be simple.
This trip did err on the side of social. Had the most stunning drive up the coast to Kaikoura, onto Blenheim which was all lovely. Even got to sink into a spa bath on the first night - which was lovely. Onto Nelson the following day. They were all rather full days, with driving through little towns which proved less than useful, but still rather nice to stumble across.
Stayed with some friends in Nelson that I hadn't seen since Tamati's wedding. Was great to catch up with Jill. John was asking me all the hard questions - my 5 year plan, and how I'm going to get there. While Jill is just super encouraging. Had a great time there. The next night Mike flew down, and so we stayed out there... but didn't spend as much time with them. Even got to see Jill's father who I haven't seen in YONKS! Thursday and Friday were spent again checking out the smaller places to see if there was anything out there. By Thursday night I was totally zonked. We made it to Maruia Springs where the hot springs were the perfect end to the day of galavanting around the country side.
made it back yesterday to watch Star Wars. Even managed to stay awake through the whole thing - though my eyes did get very heavy at one stage. I think I actually found it funnier than I should have. hehehe. Still, can see how it all ties in nicely with the next one now. Still don't think George Lucas should ever be allowed to try and do a love scene. Just not a good combination!
So.... Mike survived the driving around, and we didn't kill eachother. Was awesome to catch up with him and just be. I guess thats one of the things I appreciate most about him - is the fact that I don't need to be anyone else. While I still struggle to let go of everything, and somehow the fear of getting hurt (while I don't even know how I could get hurt) does throw me over the edge of reason, he's the one I most want to talk to about things. The one who won't be afriad of asking me the bigger questions, making me think about it from all angles. Paranio seems to be my friend, which is not typical, and not a nice thing to suddenly realise you are experiencing. Julie just laughs at me and my insane ways. But can I expect people to be patient and put up with it all?
Off to catch up with jacx shortly. Pumpkin soup has been made, and will be nice to see her. Turns out she had a dream about me last night - which tied in with everything I told her today. Bummer she had no answers for me though.
Catching up with Erin later today, and then tonight Tim and Euganie are coming round for dinner and a game of something? Will be great to catch up with them both. Feel like I hardly see them these days.
Next week is more madness..... Wellington for a couple of days - and was supposed to be flying up for Queensbirthday, but thinking it makes more sense to leave that one till later on. Eevryone I could catch up with is busy doing other things, and while a weekend away is never a bad thing, in my current state of mind, being given the space to spend all that time on my own thinking - can't be good!
Oh - officially an aunty today too..... Tawhi was born around 5 this morning. YAY! So, in theory, I should really be flying north to see them instead! Tamati is super excited, and says he's just BEAUTIFUL! :)
Really need to get a camera now, so I can get snap happy!
Adios
Monday, May 16, 2005
back in the land
Where to even start on this one?
Last week was a HUGE week..... driving around the South. What awesome country side, and what a perfect time of year for me to get to see it all. The colours just blew me away..... you could see exactly what Graeme Sydney saw when he was painting some of his gorgeous scenes. Inspired all sorts of thoughts and feelings. I wished that I had brought along a camera. Can't wait to get snap happy again soon! :)
I actually had a quick look at a few cameras today. I'm so torn between the super trusty slr and getting a digital - which yes, could be an slr, but just doesn't feel right. (or sound right for that matter! lol) I still like playing around with film, but maybe it's just me being set in my ways. I mean, I can play around with developing - but way more difficult, and time consuming, and money draining to have to set up a dark room, when there are so many different programmes out there for the computer. Tough one.
So.. it was another week of battling the huge learning curve that will one day become comfortable. Might even have a clue about what I'm supposed to be doing?! One can hope.
I spent the first 2 days with my current boss, which at first freaked me out, turned out to be fantastic! Certainly gave me a boost, and helped me to find my feet. I've felt as though all my confidence fled when I started the job... and it's been pretty awful. I can't begin to explain it all, when I can't quite get my head around it myself. The weekend before I went was full of craziness, and just left me feeling exhausted, and worn out - to then take off and be on my own was a little more than I wanted to deal with at the time, but through everything you learn and grow.
When I talked to benny on Wednesday, he asked how I was coping with being on my own, and I had to confess to him that I had created an imaginary friend - "Zippy" who had been doing a good job of keeping me company - though he's a little more quiet than I would perhaps have wanted in a friend. :) Needless to say, I was relieved when ben declared he was coming up to Christchurch on Friday, and so, he droped off his car at Judy's in Geraldine and we drove up late on Friday. Was nice to have some company for just those couple of hours. Good chance to really catch up with someone... and it would seem alot is going on for him these days.
Had a hillarious night in Queenstown on Thursday night with him and Margo. Cooked up some pasta, after grabing some dvds. Took us ages to pick out something - and that was without Margo. All we knew was that the one movie we both wanted to see, she refused to watch. lol Ended up getting out a Kiwi flick and a brit one. Kiwi was quite sad - not what I expected at all.... but the other one.... we just rolled around in laughter. Was super crazy and funny... and I obviously in the mood for insane. Nothing like a night of madness to get you out of the slumps.
The weekend was one of solitude.... or a "deep funk" as someone once called it. I did get to catch up with miss julie, and that was hillarious. We are so alike. Probably a good thing that we're on the other side of the world from eachother.... we would get into way too much mischief. I do miss her though. She's supposed to be catching up with us in Canada for Christmas or New Years? Will be fantastic to see her again. Did find an amazingly cheap flight from LA to NZ, alas... I don't know anyone who can drop everything for a holiday.
Meanwhile... Nig is all go for Christmas too. Will be sooooo good to see him! Haven't heard much from him lately. Not sure when his parents are heading over there... next couple of months. He's only got a couple of months left at school - and then I think he may head down to South America for a while? Hard to keep track of that one. Was trying to figure out how to catch up with Bex over there too. Could turn into quite the catch up session.... wohooooo! :) It is pretty great having friends all over the world - but even better to catch up with them all!
Wow.... I'm just in babble mode. absolute randomness.... I must be tired.
better end it there, before I get carried away.
Thinking about running away to Hanmer for Friday night. Would be good to catch up with Greg, and get away from the city. hehe. Jacx is worried that I'm avoiding the world, and people... I'm not sure that I'm avoiding people.... just keeping to myself more. while I try and process the things that are getting dredged up right now. Funny the way we grow up.
into the night.....
Last week was a HUGE week..... driving around the South. What awesome country side, and what a perfect time of year for me to get to see it all. The colours just blew me away..... you could see exactly what Graeme Sydney saw when he was painting some of his gorgeous scenes. Inspired all sorts of thoughts and feelings. I wished that I had brought along a camera. Can't wait to get snap happy again soon! :)
I actually had a quick look at a few cameras today. I'm so torn between the super trusty slr and getting a digital - which yes, could be an slr, but just doesn't feel right. (or sound right for that matter! lol) I still like playing around with film, but maybe it's just me being set in my ways. I mean, I can play around with developing - but way more difficult, and time consuming, and money draining to have to set up a dark room, when there are so many different programmes out there for the computer. Tough one.
So.. it was another week of battling the huge learning curve that will one day become comfortable. Might even have a clue about what I'm supposed to be doing?! One can hope.
I spent the first 2 days with my current boss, which at first freaked me out, turned out to be fantastic! Certainly gave me a boost, and helped me to find my feet. I've felt as though all my confidence fled when I started the job... and it's been pretty awful. I can't begin to explain it all, when I can't quite get my head around it myself. The weekend before I went was full of craziness, and just left me feeling exhausted, and worn out - to then take off and be on my own was a little more than I wanted to deal with at the time, but through everything you learn and grow.
When I talked to benny on Wednesday, he asked how I was coping with being on my own, and I had to confess to him that I had created an imaginary friend - "Zippy" who had been doing a good job of keeping me company - though he's a little more quiet than I would perhaps have wanted in a friend. :) Needless to say, I was relieved when ben declared he was coming up to Christchurch on Friday, and so, he droped off his car at Judy's in Geraldine and we drove up late on Friday. Was nice to have some company for just those couple of hours. Good chance to really catch up with someone... and it would seem alot is going on for him these days.
Had a hillarious night in Queenstown on Thursday night with him and Margo. Cooked up some pasta, after grabing some dvds. Took us ages to pick out something - and that was without Margo. All we knew was that the one movie we both wanted to see, she refused to watch. lol Ended up getting out a Kiwi flick and a brit one. Kiwi was quite sad - not what I expected at all.... but the other one.... we just rolled around in laughter. Was super crazy and funny... and I obviously in the mood for insane. Nothing like a night of madness to get you out of the slumps.
The weekend was one of solitude.... or a "deep funk" as someone once called it. I did get to catch up with miss julie, and that was hillarious. We are so alike. Probably a good thing that we're on the other side of the world from eachother.... we would get into way too much mischief. I do miss her though. She's supposed to be catching up with us in Canada for Christmas or New Years? Will be fantastic to see her again. Did find an amazingly cheap flight from LA to NZ, alas... I don't know anyone who can drop everything for a holiday.
Meanwhile... Nig is all go for Christmas too. Will be sooooo good to see him! Haven't heard much from him lately. Not sure when his parents are heading over there... next couple of months. He's only got a couple of months left at school - and then I think he may head down to South America for a while? Hard to keep track of that one. Was trying to figure out how to catch up with Bex over there too. Could turn into quite the catch up session.... wohooooo! :) It is pretty great having friends all over the world - but even better to catch up with them all!
Wow.... I'm just in babble mode. absolute randomness.... I must be tired.
better end it there, before I get carried away.
Thinking about running away to Hanmer for Friday night. Would be good to catch up with Greg, and get away from the city. hehe. Jacx is worried that I'm avoiding the world, and people... I'm not sure that I'm avoiding people.... just keeping to myself more. while I try and process the things that are getting dredged up right now. Funny the way we grow up.
into the night.....
Friday, May 06, 2005
Survival
First week done.... huge sigh of relief.
For some reason my brain is somewhat detached from reality. I figured that since everyone loved me in my last job, and everyone wanted to talk to me there - I would just be transfering my loveliness to the new job, and of course meeting awhole lot of new people, who would instantly go WOW, of course we want to talk to you.
So - my head is much smaller, and my ego took a dive. :)
It turns out people don't like me any more, and I'm really going to have to prove my worth. However, things are looking up, and I am getting over the ego thing!
I take off on Monday for a big adventure! Super exciting stuff. I have appointment everywhere, which is pretty cool... get to meet Miss M in Timaru, which is awesome. Picking up my new semi boss for the next 3 months from the airport just after 9, and then we're off. I didn't know what to do about accomodation, so just going with the flow. Insane, perhaps. Could I end up sleeping in the back of the car.... exciting adventure awaits! :) (Sore back to boot?!)
Ahhhh... exciting times lie in wait.... for exciting people to catch a whiff of the breeze that blows...
autumn tones.....
and the crunching underfoot. it gets louder as the seasons change, and the passing of time catches up with the world....
and I dream.
Whistful.
For some reason my brain is somewhat detached from reality. I figured that since everyone loved me in my last job, and everyone wanted to talk to me there - I would just be transfering my loveliness to the new job, and of course meeting awhole lot of new people, who would instantly go WOW, of course we want to talk to you.
So - my head is much smaller, and my ego took a dive. :)
It turns out people don't like me any more, and I'm really going to have to prove my worth. However, things are looking up, and I am getting over the ego thing!
I take off on Monday for a big adventure! Super exciting stuff. I have appointment everywhere, which is pretty cool... get to meet Miss M in Timaru, which is awesome. Picking up my new semi boss for the next 3 months from the airport just after 9, and then we're off. I didn't know what to do about accomodation, so just going with the flow. Insane, perhaps. Could I end up sleeping in the back of the car.... exciting adventure awaits! :) (Sore back to boot?!)
Ahhhh... exciting times lie in wait.... for exciting people to catch a whiff of the breeze that blows...
autumn tones.....
and the crunching underfoot. it gets louder as the seasons change, and the passing of time catches up with the world....
and I dream.
Whistful.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
overwhelmed....
Back from wellington, and just feeling wowed.
What have I gotten myself into?
I arrived in Wellington mid Morning and was picked up by one of the office girls - who was sweet. It was a quiet trip to the office though, which did little for my nerves.
No problem... I enjoyed the scenery - always one to take in everything I can. I just loved driving around the hills..... it's quite beautiful.
Once at the office, I finally got to meet Sonia who I've spent a great deal of time hassling over the phone in my old job. She's always been a huge help, so it was nice to finally meet her. My boss was there in one of the offices, so expected him to do the training with me, but it ended up being done by the office manager - which was fine and dandy. Of course, it then all comes out. My boss has just handed in his resignation, and it's all over that day! He pulled me aside later that morning to assure me that it had nothing to do with the company, and was all due to personal issues back in Australia. He was still very excited about where the company was going, and was convinced that I would do a fantastic job. So, after all my talking with him about how I was more interested in having a job where I was going to be given alot of support, and training - my support walks out the door that afternoon!
I'm still gutted! and blown away!
I don't think anyone has been hired to take on the Auckland region yet, and now they need someone to take over his job too. Crazy stuff.
How do I end up in these situations. Again, the idea that I need more character springs to mind. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???
HAVE I NOT GOT ENOUGH???
I want to be a 3 year old who doesn't know well enough to not just throw a temper tantrum when things seem so totally incomprehensable.
I know it's not that bad - and at the same time I just laugh. I will be ok, and I will figure it all out. I just thought this was going to be slightly smoother sailing?! :) hahaha
Meanwhile - things to get used to - I realise how much free reign I honestly had at the old job. Totally..... and it's going to take some getting used - reporting back in a more formal setting, instead of just yelling down the hallway as John walks past, as to what is going on. I'm going to miss that, as it really is more my scene - but I understand the importance of this too, and the fact that I'll just be learning the organised way - which is all good!
So... all that aside....
I've got a COOL NEW CAR! :)
Yeah - that's what it comes down to now. Poor Miss Molly is going to feel a little neglected for a while. This one certainly lacks her character, but it will be sweet to drive around the country side!
From next week I'm all over the place. It's going to be a very full on weekend. Head south, and don't get back until the middle of the next week. Have two full days here, and then the following Monday - head North. Going to see if I can spend that weekend in Hanmer with Greg on the way back?! The middle weekend in Queenstown with Benny?
YAY.... to see all the South Island. Now, all I need is a camera to capture the moments. Rach wants me to document all the public toilets and create a super comprehensive map for them all. Reminds me - must get good map of south island tomorrow. YAY!
Had dinner with Shane on Monday night too.... added bonus of being up there. Was awesome to catch up with him! :) Just very easy conversation, and good company. Don't think the wine did any talking either.
Right....... sleep..... sleep.... sleep....sleep
What have I gotten myself into?
I arrived in Wellington mid Morning and was picked up by one of the office girls - who was sweet. It was a quiet trip to the office though, which did little for my nerves.
No problem... I enjoyed the scenery - always one to take in everything I can. I just loved driving around the hills..... it's quite beautiful.
Once at the office, I finally got to meet Sonia who I've spent a great deal of time hassling over the phone in my old job. She's always been a huge help, so it was nice to finally meet her. My boss was there in one of the offices, so expected him to do the training with me, but it ended up being done by the office manager - which was fine and dandy. Of course, it then all comes out. My boss has just handed in his resignation, and it's all over that day! He pulled me aside later that morning to assure me that it had nothing to do with the company, and was all due to personal issues back in Australia. He was still very excited about where the company was going, and was convinced that I would do a fantastic job. So, after all my talking with him about how I was more interested in having a job where I was going to be given alot of support, and training - my support walks out the door that afternoon!
I'm still gutted! and blown away!
I don't think anyone has been hired to take on the Auckland region yet, and now they need someone to take over his job too. Crazy stuff.
How do I end up in these situations. Again, the idea that I need more character springs to mind. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???
HAVE I NOT GOT ENOUGH???
I want to be a 3 year old who doesn't know well enough to not just throw a temper tantrum when things seem so totally incomprehensable.
I know it's not that bad - and at the same time I just laugh. I will be ok, and I will figure it all out. I just thought this was going to be slightly smoother sailing?! :) hahaha
Meanwhile - things to get used to - I realise how much free reign I honestly had at the old job. Totally..... and it's going to take some getting used - reporting back in a more formal setting, instead of just yelling down the hallway as John walks past, as to what is going on. I'm going to miss that, as it really is more my scene - but I understand the importance of this too, and the fact that I'll just be learning the organised way - which is all good!
So... all that aside....
I've got a COOL NEW CAR! :)
Yeah - that's what it comes down to now. Poor Miss Molly is going to feel a little neglected for a while. This one certainly lacks her character, but it will be sweet to drive around the country side!
From next week I'm all over the place. It's going to be a very full on weekend. Head south, and don't get back until the middle of the next week. Have two full days here, and then the following Monday - head North. Going to see if I can spend that weekend in Hanmer with Greg on the way back?! The middle weekend in Queenstown with Benny?
YAY.... to see all the South Island. Now, all I need is a camera to capture the moments. Rach wants me to document all the public toilets and create a super comprehensive map for them all. Reminds me - must get good map of south island tomorrow. YAY!
Had dinner with Shane on Monday night too.... added bonus of being up there. Was awesome to catch up with him! :) Just very easy conversation, and good company. Don't think the wine did any talking either.
Right....... sleep..... sleep.... sleep....sleep
Sunday, May 01, 2005
big day
Fly up to Wellington tomorrow.... after a super busy weekend. I've been running around trying to get silly things done before starting the new job. And of course, as I sit here I remember things I didn't get done.
They can wait.
Did get to have a good ol'catch up with Jacx on Saturday morning. We headed out for breakfast. Saturday is normally up on the hill with flatmate Jackie - but she had a wedding to go to, and Jacx and I had been trying to catch up for ages now. Very relaxing morning... headed for the book store after good coffee, and then went to check out the art centre. Hadn't wandered around there in ages, and there are always cool things to check out at the different stands. Was a gorgeous sunny day, and just one that made indulging a slowness and mellow mode easy. :)
Got hom to a pile of laundry and a room that just wasn't terribly inviting. I don't like to begin something knowing that I'm leaving a mess to bug me, so had to fix that today. actually... I went shopping yesterday afternoon. Not sure what came over me. I wanted to find some material to do some sweing, but didn't even make it into the right shop. Got slightly side travked with coats.... winter and all I needed to look. Actually.... walked out with more than a coat - but all needed for the new job. REALLY!
For someone who doesn't enjoy shopping, I did pretty well.
Fly out just after 10 in the morning... mostly packed and ready for anything.... it's been zanny figuring out what to wear - for me, who normally just doesn't give these things a whole lot of thought - I just like being comfortable.
Not good enough according to the beloved friends.
Then there is the whole catching up with Shane thing. YAY! Finally. Of course - I'm the one who has to go up there. Typical.
In many ways the guy reminds me of benny. Can that be good? hahaha
shall report on the madness when I return on Tuesday.... after I go and pick up the new car, and swing by to see John - who is dying to know what I'll be touring around the country in. HAHAHA
That, and he can't wait to talk to me about all the jobs he needs to finish for me! :)
Mad man... is going to go more crazy.
Adios
They can wait.
Did get to have a good ol'catch up with Jacx on Saturday morning. We headed out for breakfast. Saturday is normally up on the hill with flatmate Jackie - but she had a wedding to go to, and Jacx and I had been trying to catch up for ages now. Very relaxing morning... headed for the book store after good coffee, and then went to check out the art centre. Hadn't wandered around there in ages, and there are always cool things to check out at the different stands. Was a gorgeous sunny day, and just one that made indulging a slowness and mellow mode easy. :)
Got hom to a pile of laundry and a room that just wasn't terribly inviting. I don't like to begin something knowing that I'm leaving a mess to bug me, so had to fix that today. actually... I went shopping yesterday afternoon. Not sure what came over me. I wanted to find some material to do some sweing, but didn't even make it into the right shop. Got slightly side travked with coats.... winter and all I needed to look. Actually.... walked out with more than a coat - but all needed for the new job. REALLY!
For someone who doesn't enjoy shopping, I did pretty well.
Fly out just after 10 in the morning... mostly packed and ready for anything.... it's been zanny figuring out what to wear - for me, who normally just doesn't give these things a whole lot of thought - I just like being comfortable.
Not good enough according to the beloved friends.
Then there is the whole catching up with Shane thing. YAY! Finally. Of course - I'm the one who has to go up there. Typical.
In many ways the guy reminds me of benny. Can that be good? hahaha
shall report on the madness when I return on Tuesday.... after I go and pick up the new car, and swing by to see John - who is dying to know what I'll be touring around the country in. HAHAHA
That, and he can't wait to talk to me about all the jobs he needs to finish for me! :)
Mad man... is going to go more crazy.
Adios
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
last tuesday.....
So - the phoneless day was a dream... so far from reality!
I got to work after the morning at the course, which was really good. Watched some good ol'fish throwing at some fish shop in Seattle, which was inspiring - though hardly makes sense in this context. :)
Caught up with Benny last night. We went and caught a cute little French Canadian flick about some tiny fishing village that needed to convince a Dr to move there in order to get a factory built. It was gorgeous.
Was nice to just hang out with Ben, and hear what he's been upto, and what he wants to do with the rest of the year. :) I hadn't realised that it had been so long since I'd last seen him. AGES! Still.... that's the way it goes. He's heading back up for a med. course in a couple of weeks, and staying here - though he had nothing but horrible things to say about my snoring! I was super tired..... which is when I'm more likely than ever to snore away... but still. It wasn't like I did it on purpose! poor guy looked so tired when he called into my office this afternoon. So - guess we'll just leave the futon out in the living room, and not bother bringing it into my room.... he'll just have to get used to the fridge making noise, and being woken up early by me. :) It's only a week - and I may be out of town for some of the week anyway.
I haven't heard anything from the new boss.... maybe tomorrow. Would be nice to know whether he wants me down here, or up in Wellington before next week. Wait and see. They did the internal email advertising my job today. they are actually thinking about the job description this time round, and getting the contract organised. wohoooo... still... I'm actually kind of worried about the person that will be taking over my job. That - and super protective of my clients. I want to know that they will be looked after alright!
Doesn't look like I'll get any time to show them the ropes - John will have to do it all. I just need to get my office organised, and all my stuff out of there.
I am still kind of sad about leaving. Had to tell a few more of my clients that I was leaving today. Nice to know I'll be missed... for a few days. :)
Anyway.... another late night... more snooring... no wonder I wake up so tired. yawned all through this morning and tonights lectures.
And I have band tomorrow.
Ciao
I got to work after the morning at the course, which was really good. Watched some good ol'fish throwing at some fish shop in Seattle, which was inspiring - though hardly makes sense in this context. :)
Caught up with Benny last night. We went and caught a cute little French Canadian flick about some tiny fishing village that needed to convince a Dr to move there in order to get a factory built. It was gorgeous.
Was nice to just hang out with Ben, and hear what he's been upto, and what he wants to do with the rest of the year. :) I hadn't realised that it had been so long since I'd last seen him. AGES! Still.... that's the way it goes. He's heading back up for a med. course in a couple of weeks, and staying here - though he had nothing but horrible things to say about my snoring! I was super tired..... which is when I'm more likely than ever to snore away... but still. It wasn't like I did it on purpose! poor guy looked so tired when he called into my office this afternoon. So - guess we'll just leave the futon out in the living room, and not bother bringing it into my room.... he'll just have to get used to the fridge making noise, and being woken up early by me. :) It's only a week - and I may be out of town for some of the week anyway.
I haven't heard anything from the new boss.... maybe tomorrow. Would be nice to know whether he wants me down here, or up in Wellington before next week. Wait and see. They did the internal email advertising my job today. they are actually thinking about the job description this time round, and getting the contract organised. wohoooo... still... I'm actually kind of worried about the person that will be taking over my job. That - and super protective of my clients. I want to know that they will be looked after alright!
Doesn't look like I'll get any time to show them the ropes - John will have to do it all. I just need to get my office organised, and all my stuff out of there.
I am still kind of sad about leaving. Had to tell a few more of my clients that I was leaving today. Nice to know I'll be missed... for a few days. :)
Anyway.... another late night... more snooring... no wonder I wake up so tired. yawned all through this morning and tonights lectures.
And I have band tomorrow.
Ciao
Sunday, April 24, 2005
thunder and lightening - very exciting?
Had the most amazing storm last night. Had to be pretty impressive to wake me up from my deep slumber.
Woke to the sound of thunder, and then the amazing pelting of HUGE hailstones. Set the car alarm off, and honestly sounded like the roof was going to cave in, and the lightening was going to come crashing through the window. The thunder was truly rolling.... and rolling...... it was very impressive!
Never before have I been curled up in bed with a storm like that, wishing that there was someone there with me. Things like that don't normally scare me, or bother me.... last night.... I would have been grateful to have shared that with someone else. hehehe Maybe I was just too tired. Sounds like a good excuse. Wasn't thinking clearly.....
Had more hail today.
Went and saw a movie, and in the middle of it you could hear the hail pelting down. Got back outside to find a thin layer of ice on the car. What happened to autumn? All the leaves have been torn off of the trees.... the colours all awash in puddles along the road.
So - plans of heading to the beach today were sidelined, funnily enough. I've had the fire going since I got home from church. It's been a nice quiet day. Did some reading for my next assignment - though not enough. made some more pumpkin soup, but didn't get around to making the mighty muffins. Tomorrow, maybe?
Benny was supposed to be staying tonight - but plans changed again. Funny - I'm not normally one to organise things, more into just doing things on impulse, but had actually planned things this weekend, and every single one has fallen through! It's quite classic!
So.... going back to my old ways. Much easier!
So, he may be here tomorrow... but hardly counting on it. I may head into work, and start clearing out my office.... not quite sure how I'm going to get everything done in the next 4 days. Not like I've got tons of orders to get done - but enough to keep my busy. One quote that's just waiting for my attention. Think Tuesday afternoon may be a NO PHONE one! :)
JOYS!
Right.... time to crawl into bed.
Adios world
Woke to the sound of thunder, and then the amazing pelting of HUGE hailstones. Set the car alarm off, and honestly sounded like the roof was going to cave in, and the lightening was going to come crashing through the window. The thunder was truly rolling.... and rolling...... it was very impressive!
Never before have I been curled up in bed with a storm like that, wishing that there was someone there with me. Things like that don't normally scare me, or bother me.... last night.... I would have been grateful to have shared that with someone else. hehehe Maybe I was just too tired. Sounds like a good excuse. Wasn't thinking clearly.....
Had more hail today.
Went and saw a movie, and in the middle of it you could hear the hail pelting down. Got back outside to find a thin layer of ice on the car. What happened to autumn? All the leaves have been torn off of the trees.... the colours all awash in puddles along the road.
So - plans of heading to the beach today were sidelined, funnily enough. I've had the fire going since I got home from church. It's been a nice quiet day. Did some reading for my next assignment - though not enough. made some more pumpkin soup, but didn't get around to making the mighty muffins. Tomorrow, maybe?
Benny was supposed to be staying tonight - but plans changed again. Funny - I'm not normally one to organise things, more into just doing things on impulse, but had actually planned things this weekend, and every single one has fallen through! It's quite classic!
So.... going back to my old ways. Much easier!
So, he may be here tomorrow... but hardly counting on it. I may head into work, and start clearing out my office.... not quite sure how I'm going to get everything done in the next 4 days. Not like I've got tons of orders to get done - but enough to keep my busy. One quote that's just waiting for my attention. Think Tuesday afternoon may be a NO PHONE one! :)
JOYS!
Right.... time to crawl into bed.
Adios world
Saturday, April 23, 2005
nerves kicking in.....
One week to go...... though, who's counting?!
The stress levels seem to be rising in the office, and at the same time - we all seem to be laughing about the situation that they are about to have on their hands. CHAOS!
Rob was so funny today. Head boss calls me into his office to ask me about my contract, and job description.... and I had to let him know that I never had either! I just laugh now. At least they are trying to get it all sorted for the next person who walks into this job. At the same time - they have no clue as to who they could get to take over the job. None of us can think of anyone who is capable - and that's not my ego talking. I know that I'm very protective of my customers... and am pretty worried about how this is all going to work - but having talked to John about it - he's going to take on all my big ones. I'll get everything sorted out as much as I can right now - orders all printed out, and lists of dates. Hoping it will all go ok. I'll be in his office often enough to check up on things! Call me pathetic!
I've told most of my customers that I'm leaving at the end of next week.... some really funny reactions. Still.... will be calling in to see some of them while i'm traveling around - which will be fantastic! Funny getting to see these places that you've sent everything down for - but never seen where they were actually going. I've always been blown away by people's trust in my judgement about what would look right. Very cool aspect of the job. That, and dealing with some great people. :)
When I was online the other day a friend of mine in France jumped on, and told me that "I MUST" download this new messaging programme so we could talk. Always up for some madness, I told him I would as soon as I had broadband up and running again. So, tonight I downloaded it.... and as most of these things do these days, it went through my address book and tried to find people I knew.
Came up with a Craig, and I thought... hmmmmm... could be Maxi, doubtful, but you never know.
Anyway.... this Craig wrote back to me, asking who I was looking for. I told him who I was looking for, and surprise - wrong guy. We started chatting away regardless.... he was from South Africa, but now living in London.
I told him I had loads of SA friends.... but couldn't tell him where in SA any of them were from.
As we're chatting he tells me a friend of his was living in Christchurch before moving over to England. I wasn't about to ask their name, cause what were the chances. I tell him I've just been out of coffee with a friend, and he gives me a hard time for not being out on a Friday night. He then tells me that his friend used to go out for coffee with church friends all the time, and just loved it. So, I ask what church his friend went to - low and behold, it was a good friend of mine - Susanne, who left CHCH 2 years ago. So, I suddenly remember that she and Jiljane had often talked about this Craig. I was blown away... I knew so much about this guy already. So funny!!!! Susanne always had a massive crush on him.
Anyway.... he gives me her address - I haven't heard from her since she left, which was all rather sudden, and bizzare. She was supposed to come back!
It was so cool to get back in touch with her, and talk to this other guy, who was really good friends with JJ as well. Just goes to show how absolutely small the world is now!
Also got to catch up with my friend Bex tonight.... I've missed her while she's been off jetting around with Hanson. Yeah - don't laugh, but she says these guys are getting better with age, and are just one of the coolest bands to be touring with. I love it! :) More than that, I'm just so glad that she's got a gig that she's enjoying now! She works so hard, and just deserves to have something that she can sink her teeth into and enjoy!
She's the one who got Shawn over here for me.... so good to hear that he had a good time here too. He's been asked to come back by both Australia concert organizers and Parachute here. I may get another chance to do another concert for him yet! :) WOHOOOO!! Andy would be so stoked!
Meanwhile... Bex thinks she may get down here this year. Failing that... she may be touring around the States with Hanson, and could meet me in Canada for Christmas?! Could turn into a huge get together. Julie is already saying she'll be there. YAY!
Righty ho.... way past my bedtime, and I have coffee tomorrow at 9. Feeling rather sluggish these days, but I think it's more to do with the stress I've been feeling. Between the whole neck episode, not sleeping, not making time for walking.... it all sometimes feels like it's getting on top of me.
And today I just tried to cram more "STUFF" into my life! hahaha.
To roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Tow roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
The Road Not Taken - robert frost.
~ bonuit ~
The stress levels seem to be rising in the office, and at the same time - we all seem to be laughing about the situation that they are about to have on their hands. CHAOS!
Rob was so funny today. Head boss calls me into his office to ask me about my contract, and job description.... and I had to let him know that I never had either! I just laugh now. At least they are trying to get it all sorted for the next person who walks into this job. At the same time - they have no clue as to who they could get to take over the job. None of us can think of anyone who is capable - and that's not my ego talking. I know that I'm very protective of my customers... and am pretty worried about how this is all going to work - but having talked to John about it - he's going to take on all my big ones. I'll get everything sorted out as much as I can right now - orders all printed out, and lists of dates. Hoping it will all go ok. I'll be in his office often enough to check up on things! Call me pathetic!
I've told most of my customers that I'm leaving at the end of next week.... some really funny reactions. Still.... will be calling in to see some of them while i'm traveling around - which will be fantastic! Funny getting to see these places that you've sent everything down for - but never seen where they were actually going. I've always been blown away by people's trust in my judgement about what would look right. Very cool aspect of the job. That, and dealing with some great people. :)
When I was online the other day a friend of mine in France jumped on, and told me that "I MUST" download this new messaging programme so we could talk. Always up for some madness, I told him I would as soon as I had broadband up and running again. So, tonight I downloaded it.... and as most of these things do these days, it went through my address book and tried to find people I knew.
Came up with a Craig, and I thought... hmmmmm... could be Maxi, doubtful, but you never know.
Anyway.... this Craig wrote back to me, asking who I was looking for. I told him who I was looking for, and surprise - wrong guy. We started chatting away regardless.... he was from South Africa, but now living in London.
I told him I had loads of SA friends.... but couldn't tell him where in SA any of them were from.
As we're chatting he tells me a friend of his was living in Christchurch before moving over to England. I wasn't about to ask their name, cause what were the chances. I tell him I've just been out of coffee with a friend, and he gives me a hard time for not being out on a Friday night. He then tells me that his friend used to go out for coffee with church friends all the time, and just loved it. So, I ask what church his friend went to - low and behold, it was a good friend of mine - Susanne, who left CHCH 2 years ago. So, I suddenly remember that she and Jiljane had often talked about this Craig. I was blown away... I knew so much about this guy already. So funny!!!! Susanne always had a massive crush on him.
Anyway.... he gives me her address - I haven't heard from her since she left, which was all rather sudden, and bizzare. She was supposed to come back!
It was so cool to get back in touch with her, and talk to this other guy, who was really good friends with JJ as well. Just goes to show how absolutely small the world is now!
Also got to catch up with my friend Bex tonight.... I've missed her while she's been off jetting around with Hanson. Yeah - don't laugh, but she says these guys are getting better with age, and are just one of the coolest bands to be touring with. I love it! :) More than that, I'm just so glad that she's got a gig that she's enjoying now! She works so hard, and just deserves to have something that she can sink her teeth into and enjoy!
She's the one who got Shawn over here for me.... so good to hear that he had a good time here too. He's been asked to come back by both Australia concert organizers and Parachute here. I may get another chance to do another concert for him yet! :) WOHOOOO!! Andy would be so stoked!
Meanwhile... Bex thinks she may get down here this year. Failing that... she may be touring around the States with Hanson, and could meet me in Canada for Christmas?! Could turn into a huge get together. Julie is already saying she'll be there. YAY!
Righty ho.... way past my bedtime, and I have coffee tomorrow at 9. Feeling rather sluggish these days, but I think it's more to do with the stress I've been feeling. Between the whole neck episode, not sleeping, not making time for walking.... it all sometimes feels like it's getting on top of me.
And today I just tried to cram more "STUFF" into my life! hahaha.
To roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Tow roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
The Road Not Taken - robert frost.
~ bonuit ~
Monday, April 18, 2005
newness.... and wonders
It's a rather breezy evening... made it home from work and went for a walk. Awesome to be outside and able to enjoy those autumn colours. Just love this time of year.
My neck is still amazingly sore - all things considered. Physio is away for the week... so will see how it is when I see her next week. Yay for having next Monday off!! :)
Got a letter from head office today - marked private and confidential. Everyone was very interested to see what it was. Jeremy wondered if perhaps they had got around to doing a contract for me at long last..... no such luck, but almost as bizzare!
I sent an email a while back saying I would be interested in going to a positive management worshop which is happening next week if no managers were interested down here. Well... guess none of them were, cause I'm going next Wednesday. The crazy part, I only have 2 weeks left with the company.
I feel kinda guilty about going to something like this, when I'm not going to be with the company for any length of time to use any of what I learn. Jeremy told me not to be stupid and go.... we'll see. He may actually want to go in the end.
The new job... which still isn't quite official, as I never heard back from the new boss regarding my contract which had a few things in it I wanted clarified today. Wonder.
Will give him a call tomorrow if I don't hear anything.
But.... I'm supposed to start on May 2nd, and I'm guessing will be in Wellington for a couple of days to get sorted out. Not sure about much, really. Excited though at the change!
John has been funny about it all. Super supportive, and encouraging, and at the same time... beginning to realise that he's going to be stuffed. He can't think of anyone to replace me... and in all honesty, neither can I. There is one girl at work - but I fear she and John would drive eachother NUTS within minutes.
Then of course there is the whole..... I don't want to give it up to someone that won't look after everyone. Scary stuff.
We'll see. At least I will be in to see John every month, which is cool. He'll be my number one customer! :)
Righty ho.... need to go and make some posters to find that perfect flatmate. Anyone wanna move here??? Gorgeous house... cool people.... perfect neighbourhood.... great coffee within blocks.... perfect Indian..... who could ask for more?
farewell.....
My neck is still amazingly sore - all things considered. Physio is away for the week... so will see how it is when I see her next week. Yay for having next Monday off!! :)
Got a letter from head office today - marked private and confidential. Everyone was very interested to see what it was. Jeremy wondered if perhaps they had got around to doing a contract for me at long last..... no such luck, but almost as bizzare!
I sent an email a while back saying I would be interested in going to a positive management worshop which is happening next week if no managers were interested down here. Well... guess none of them were, cause I'm going next Wednesday. The crazy part, I only have 2 weeks left with the company.
I feel kinda guilty about going to something like this, when I'm not going to be with the company for any length of time to use any of what I learn. Jeremy told me not to be stupid and go.... we'll see. He may actually want to go in the end.
The new job... which still isn't quite official, as I never heard back from the new boss regarding my contract which had a few things in it I wanted clarified today. Wonder.
Will give him a call tomorrow if I don't hear anything.
But.... I'm supposed to start on May 2nd, and I'm guessing will be in Wellington for a couple of days to get sorted out. Not sure about much, really. Excited though at the change!
John has been funny about it all. Super supportive, and encouraging, and at the same time... beginning to realise that he's going to be stuffed. He can't think of anyone to replace me... and in all honesty, neither can I. There is one girl at work - but I fear she and John would drive eachother NUTS within minutes.
Then of course there is the whole..... I don't want to give it up to someone that won't look after everyone. Scary stuff.
We'll see. At least I will be in to see John every month, which is cool. He'll be my number one customer! :)
Righty ho.... need to go and make some posters to find that perfect flatmate. Anyone wanna move here??? Gorgeous house... cool people.... perfect neighbourhood.... great coffee within blocks.... perfect Indian..... who could ask for more?
farewell.....
Monday, April 11, 2005
lights in the big city....
It was discovered over the weekend... Friday to be exact, reason number 124 for not liking, wanting of even considering the move to the big metropolis of Auckland.
People don't watch where they are going when they are driving!!!
it was crazy! (bold is stuck again... how does that keep happening?)
I flew up on Friday morning... pleasant enough flight.... arrived to have Erin pick me up, which was fantastic. We took off for her place, where Ellie and Josh were going to pop round and visit.
Was super cool to catch up with them both. They were over for Josh's sisters wedding. Sounds like England is all good, though they have plans to be back here in October, which is brilliant!
We lazed away the afternoon, before they had to run off and make a sheperds pie at the request of the bride, and we headed off to the local mall for me to get a card.
on our way to the mall, we were yaking away in the car, sitting at a red light, when someone ran into the back of us. we bounced forward into the car in front of us. Exciting stuff.... so much so, that we forgot what we were talking about. Unbelievably, the car that ploughed into us had hardly any damage, our car just had a broken light, and the mufler was bent abit, and the car in front of us was fine. the distance that the car bounced off of us was quite impressive... have decided that the Fiat must have a rubber bumper.... very cool stuff!
Downside... we both got whiplash... and my neck is really sore now. Went to see the physio this afternoon, and have a series of exercises to do before I go back tomorrow. Literally - such a pain in the neck!
So... have had today off... which was convienent as far as getting washing done, checking out jobs, and quietly going about the day.
Onto better things.....
Sarah and Shaun's wedding was BEAUTIFUL!!! she was a gorgeous bride and Shaun was super handsome.
It was just super gorgeous.
On top of that, I got to catch up with the long lost friends of Uni days. Was so cool!! We danced and yaked the night away, with great gusto. Rob was rather philisophical on the drive home, and I'm kinda bummed that I didn't get to catch up with him more. Will have to give him a call later this week to see how he's doing.
Funniest thing - besides the plane flight home on Sunday morning, was talking to Jackie about everyone that was there..... dancing with Jarrod.... after a while she asks me if there was any chance that this was Jarrod R. I just laughed. How on earth does she guess who it is - when I don't even click that they are both from Nelson - therefore didn't even mention where he was from... so out of all of NZ, she picks the guy from my description of his dancing!! what could that mean?
So.. jarrod is going to have to come down to visit me, and his long lost friend from school days gone.
So... all up... brilliant trip.
Will have to start thinking about my trip up towards the end of June. Erin and Bruce are looking at moving to the States in July, so would like to see them before they run off... and of course - check out my nephew by then! Tawhi. :)
Already running up to Wellington the beginning of June for a long weekend.
guess I'll have to see how the job thing works out.
better move it here.... pumpkin soup just waiting to be made. (HAHAHA... mike, wanna come round for dinner!!) Yummy!
People don't watch where they are going when they are driving!!!
it was crazy! (bold is stuck again... how does that keep happening?)
I flew up on Friday morning... pleasant enough flight.... arrived to have Erin pick me up, which was fantastic. We took off for her place, where Ellie and Josh were going to pop round and visit.
Was super cool to catch up with them both. They were over for Josh's sisters wedding. Sounds like England is all good, though they have plans to be back here in October, which is brilliant!
We lazed away the afternoon, before they had to run off and make a sheperds pie at the request of the bride, and we headed off to the local mall for me to get a card.
on our way to the mall, we were yaking away in the car, sitting at a red light, when someone ran into the back of us. we bounced forward into the car in front of us. Exciting stuff.... so much so, that we forgot what we were talking about. Unbelievably, the car that ploughed into us had hardly any damage, our car just had a broken light, and the mufler was bent abit, and the car in front of us was fine. the distance that the car bounced off of us was quite impressive... have decided that the Fiat must have a rubber bumper.... very cool stuff!
Downside... we both got whiplash... and my neck is really sore now. Went to see the physio this afternoon, and have a series of exercises to do before I go back tomorrow. Literally - such a pain in the neck!
So... have had today off... which was convienent as far as getting washing done, checking out jobs, and quietly going about the day.
Onto better things.....
Sarah and Shaun's wedding was BEAUTIFUL!!! she was a gorgeous bride and Shaun was super handsome.
It was just super gorgeous.
On top of that, I got to catch up with the long lost friends of Uni days. Was so cool!! We danced and yaked the night away, with great gusto. Rob was rather philisophical on the drive home, and I'm kinda bummed that I didn't get to catch up with him more. Will have to give him a call later this week to see how he's doing.
Funniest thing - besides the plane flight home on Sunday morning, was talking to Jackie about everyone that was there..... dancing with Jarrod.... after a while she asks me if there was any chance that this was Jarrod R. I just laughed. How on earth does she guess who it is - when I don't even click that they are both from Nelson - therefore didn't even mention where he was from... so out of all of NZ, she picks the guy from my description of his dancing!! what could that mean?
So.. jarrod is going to have to come down to visit me, and his long lost friend from school days gone.
So... all up... brilliant trip.
Will have to start thinking about my trip up towards the end of June. Erin and Bruce are looking at moving to the States in July, so would like to see them before they run off... and of course - check out my nephew by then! Tawhi. :)
Already running up to Wellington the beginning of June for a long weekend.
guess I'll have to see how the job thing works out.
better move it here.... pumpkin soup just waiting to be made. (HAHAHA... mike, wanna come round for dinner!!) Yummy!
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
finding out....
Bundle of thoughts.... romping around in my head.
Went for a walk with Raewyn tonight. Managed to find ourselves amongst a huge number of police - huge for this part of Christchurch anyway. Aparently a house was pulled down today, and amongst the rubble they found a hand grinade. Just what you expect to stumble across in your house remains. So, the army bomb squad were on their way out to dispose of it? kinda funny... having a whole block closed off. The buses were having some problems.
I have a job interview tomorrow..... nerves hitting? Along with a migrain. Spent this morning in my office trying to convince myself not to be sick. Absolutely awful stuff! I went down stairs at one stage, and honestly - best way to describe it - someone had shot me in the head, and I couldn't stop myself from crying it hurt so much.
It eventually went away - while I was dealing with a client.... must have had me thinking too much? and I killed it?! Who knows.... unfortunately I can feel it just dwindling behind my eye again now. Need to get more sleep to fix it before tomorrow.
Bizzare stuff... really.
So, maybe tomorrow I'll have some good news. Just found out today that they are actually hiring people for this job to do the lower and upper North Island too, and there is apart of me that wants to jump at the opportunity to move up to Wellington. hahahaha... part of my that would like to stay - but adventure calls, along with a change of scene. Would Mike go mad having me around. Shane has already told me he would freak out and be convinced that I was a stalker. ohhhhhhhh... nutter!
BUT - could imagine the three of us figuring out the company thing... which Mike has been encouraging me about!
I so want to give it ago. But can't do it down here easily.
So....
Aiming high, and thinking about brilliance..... opportunity!
bonuit
Went for a walk with Raewyn tonight. Managed to find ourselves amongst a huge number of police - huge for this part of Christchurch anyway. Aparently a house was pulled down today, and amongst the rubble they found a hand grinade. Just what you expect to stumble across in your house remains. So, the army bomb squad were on their way out to dispose of it? kinda funny... having a whole block closed off. The buses were having some problems.
I have a job interview tomorrow..... nerves hitting? Along with a migrain. Spent this morning in my office trying to convince myself not to be sick. Absolutely awful stuff! I went down stairs at one stage, and honestly - best way to describe it - someone had shot me in the head, and I couldn't stop myself from crying it hurt so much.
It eventually went away - while I was dealing with a client.... must have had me thinking too much? and I killed it?! Who knows.... unfortunately I can feel it just dwindling behind my eye again now. Need to get more sleep to fix it before tomorrow.
Bizzare stuff... really.
So, maybe tomorrow I'll have some good news. Just found out today that they are actually hiring people for this job to do the lower and upper North Island too, and there is apart of me that wants to jump at the opportunity to move up to Wellington. hahahaha... part of my that would like to stay - but adventure calls, along with a change of scene. Would Mike go mad having me around. Shane has already told me he would freak out and be convinced that I was a stalker. ohhhhhhhh... nutter!
BUT - could imagine the three of us figuring out the company thing... which Mike has been encouraging me about!
I so want to give it ago. But can't do it down here easily.
So....
Aiming high, and thinking about brilliance..... opportunity!
bonuit
Thursday, March 31, 2005
long time... no see.....
I don't think there is any sane way for me to catch up.... especially when it's getting later here, and I have another huge day tomorrow - YAY for Friday though!
Easter.... what a fantastic weekend! It was supposed to be spent a little differently, but everything always has a way of working out for the best.
I ended up shopping on Saturday - which for me is quite an odd and very infrequent event in my life. But Jackie and I had a mission on our hands, and so we set out with great gusto! Of course breakfast up on the hill was first on our list of things to do.
From there it was into town... and the madness. You'd think that a day without any shops being open would have little effect on the people in the big metropolis of Christchurch, however... it would seem that one day is just sends everyone into shopping mode in a huge way. So, we trampled up and down the streets looking for bargins.
I found some spunky shoes. Yeah - truly spunky!! :) OK... so they are sneakers, and so practical that any of my girly friends would be dissapointed in me.... but I love them!!
Also went and grabbed a book on Tramps in the South Island... (Hikes for all you North Americans out there). So, time to get totally motivated, and get out there. Why would I start trying to motivate myself when it would seem that winter has begun to settle in? Insane!
I think that was it for mad purchases - oh... besides the awesome winter sheets. So snuggled up and warm now with my winter duvet and sheets on! :) It's the simple things that keep me happy.
Sunday I cruised out to Hanmer Springs. It was the first big drive for Molly. YAY!!! Took off after church, and had arranged to meet up with some friends at the hot pools. The trip started in a rather bizzare way, and slightly blonder moment, where I completely forgot which way to go to get to Hanmer. This was quickly rectified, and I was on my way with the music blaring. It was bliss to be on the open road!
Got up to Hanmer with some pretty miserable drizzle going on... and discovered that ever man and their dog had the same idea as me this weekend. OK - so it was Easter weekend... what was I expecting?!
Stood in line to get into the hot pools, and just ahhhhhhh... soaked in everything around me. It was gorgeous!
Of course I had no idea how I was going to find anyone there, and had pretty much resigned myself to believing the day would be spent by myself, which wasn't all bad in my books.
Eventually I did find the others. They didn't get up there till much later. So splashed around with them for a while.
After leaving the hot pools I headed off in search of a friends house. Greg bought a house up there about a year ago, and I hadn't even seen it yet! Couldn't even say I was heading over to see his new house any more! Quite sad.
It's a very cool little place, with a great fire that was blazzing away. Perfect little place to run away to in the weekends. I did warn him that I would be visiting. Perfect - now I have someone to visit in the mountains, and Jimbo and Kym at the beach! :) Life is good!
Drove home after a coffee and catch up, and slept pretty soundly that night.... Monday....woke up bright and early, to a gorgeous sunrise, so I jumped out of bed, and went and climbed the hill. I had thought I would get to the top and have a coffee... but I didn't feel like one... so kept going. It was stunning. A really crisp and super clear morning. I would probably be far more inspired to do those early morning jaunts if it was cloudy.
We'll see... maybe I'll do it again this weekend.
So - the weekend of catching up with ben didn't happen.... and while I was so looking forward to hanging out with him, it will have to wait for a couple of weeks, once he's finished his job for the season. Who knows what he's going to get upto over the next 6 months? He said something about Turkey.
OH... other news... flatmate Catherine came home tonight with a super sparkly diamond ring! Yes... the bLING she has been after is on her finger. Aparently everyone in the cafe even missed seeing Brendon down on his knees in full proposal. Totally funny!
They are both super excited about the up and coming wedding.... in June!
So... shall be looking for a new flatmate shortlly...... know of anyone?
That's it... bed waits!
Be well... xx
Easter.... what a fantastic weekend! It was supposed to be spent a little differently, but everything always has a way of working out for the best.
I ended up shopping on Saturday - which for me is quite an odd and very infrequent event in my life. But Jackie and I had a mission on our hands, and so we set out with great gusto! Of course breakfast up on the hill was first on our list of things to do.
From there it was into town... and the madness. You'd think that a day without any shops being open would have little effect on the people in the big metropolis of Christchurch, however... it would seem that one day is just sends everyone into shopping mode in a huge way. So, we trampled up and down the streets looking for bargins.
I found some spunky shoes. Yeah - truly spunky!! :) OK... so they are sneakers, and so practical that any of my girly friends would be dissapointed in me.... but I love them!!
Also went and grabbed a book on Tramps in the South Island... (Hikes for all you North Americans out there). So, time to get totally motivated, and get out there. Why would I start trying to motivate myself when it would seem that winter has begun to settle in? Insane!
I think that was it for mad purchases - oh... besides the awesome winter sheets. So snuggled up and warm now with my winter duvet and sheets on! :) It's the simple things that keep me happy.
Sunday I cruised out to Hanmer Springs. It was the first big drive for Molly. YAY!!! Took off after church, and had arranged to meet up with some friends at the hot pools. The trip started in a rather bizzare way, and slightly blonder moment, where I completely forgot which way to go to get to Hanmer. This was quickly rectified, and I was on my way with the music blaring. It was bliss to be on the open road!
Got up to Hanmer with some pretty miserable drizzle going on... and discovered that ever man and their dog had the same idea as me this weekend. OK - so it was Easter weekend... what was I expecting?!
Stood in line to get into the hot pools, and just ahhhhhhh... soaked in everything around me. It was gorgeous!
Of course I had no idea how I was going to find anyone there, and had pretty much resigned myself to believing the day would be spent by myself, which wasn't all bad in my books.
Eventually I did find the others. They didn't get up there till much later. So splashed around with them for a while.
After leaving the hot pools I headed off in search of a friends house. Greg bought a house up there about a year ago, and I hadn't even seen it yet! Couldn't even say I was heading over to see his new house any more! Quite sad.
It's a very cool little place, with a great fire that was blazzing away. Perfect little place to run away to in the weekends. I did warn him that I would be visiting. Perfect - now I have someone to visit in the mountains, and Jimbo and Kym at the beach! :) Life is good!
Drove home after a coffee and catch up, and slept pretty soundly that night.... Monday....woke up bright and early, to a gorgeous sunrise, so I jumped out of bed, and went and climbed the hill. I had thought I would get to the top and have a coffee... but I didn't feel like one... so kept going. It was stunning. A really crisp and super clear morning. I would probably be far more inspired to do those early morning jaunts if it was cloudy.
We'll see... maybe I'll do it again this weekend.
So - the weekend of catching up with ben didn't happen.... and while I was so looking forward to hanging out with him, it will have to wait for a couple of weeks, once he's finished his job for the season. Who knows what he's going to get upto over the next 6 months? He said something about Turkey.
OH... other news... flatmate Catherine came home tonight with a super sparkly diamond ring! Yes... the bLING she has been after is on her finger. Aparently everyone in the cafe even missed seeing Brendon down on his knees in full proposal. Totally funny!
They are both super excited about the up and coming wedding.... in June!
So... shall be looking for a new flatmate shortlly...... know of anyone?
That's it... bed waits!
Be well... xx
Monday, March 07, 2005
all my soul.....
have had a night at home by myself, which is often an interesting occassion. I relish in my time alone, and yet - the thoughts that so often overwhelm my head come crashing like waves on a steep, empty beach.
The sand is left battered, the seaweed bruised.... and my emotions.... scared?
I'm just tired, and have to remember to get up early to pick up Tony from the airport. He's left me messages asking if I could still love him?
After the last curious discussion that we had..... I'm left wondering about so much.
remembered the conversation I had with my brother Tamati an awfully long time ago now, when he was super upset, and it all coincided with me having just broken up with bruce. He was lying on his back, crying.... and the only wise words I had for him.... not to lie and cry, cause the water would run into his ears, and it wasn't good for him.
Yeah - totally what older sisters are for, right!
insane!
I haven't spoken to him since I was up there. And I guess I'm having an I miss you moment. Will have to give him a call tomorrow.
Talked to Dad today. Spoke to him on Friday and he was super stressed then. Today was no different. Probably more so. I hate it. They havea horse show on this weekend, and I was wondering about flying up for it to help out. Madness.... but I haven't talked to mum about it. Doubt that I'd find a decent flight that would make it worthwhile. Still do wish that I was around though to help out.
They seem to be struggling with way too much, and it doesn't sound like Alex is around at all these days, although dad did say he comes home and mows the lawn before he dissapears again.
I feel like I need to ring them all up and see what's going on. Encourage them to help out when they can. To not be all self absorbed, as I know that my brothers can be.
frustrating.
No stars either. hehehe
off I go to sing the blues. till the sun rises, and I realise, actually..... life is good once more! (it's not really bad, promise!)
The sand is left battered, the seaweed bruised.... and my emotions.... scared?
I'm just tired, and have to remember to get up early to pick up Tony from the airport. He's left me messages asking if I could still love him?
After the last curious discussion that we had..... I'm left wondering about so much.
remembered the conversation I had with my brother Tamati an awfully long time ago now, when he was super upset, and it all coincided with me having just broken up with bruce. He was lying on his back, crying.... and the only wise words I had for him.... not to lie and cry, cause the water would run into his ears, and it wasn't good for him.
Yeah - totally what older sisters are for, right!
insane!
I haven't spoken to him since I was up there. And I guess I'm having an I miss you moment. Will have to give him a call tomorrow.
Talked to Dad today. Spoke to him on Friday and he was super stressed then. Today was no different. Probably more so. I hate it. They havea horse show on this weekend, and I was wondering about flying up for it to help out. Madness.... but I haven't talked to mum about it. Doubt that I'd find a decent flight that would make it worthwhile. Still do wish that I was around though to help out.
They seem to be struggling with way too much, and it doesn't sound like Alex is around at all these days, although dad did say he comes home and mows the lawn before he dissapears again.
I feel like I need to ring them all up and see what's going on. Encourage them to help out when they can. To not be all self absorbed, as I know that my brothers can be.
frustrating.
No stars either. hehehe
off I go to sing the blues. till the sun rises, and I realise, actually..... life is good once more! (it's not really bad, promise!)
Sunday, March 06, 2005
craziness
So... life is back to manic I guess in so many ways.
Crazy winds today.... the kind that really do turn the people of christchurch into utter nutters! Seriously. It is still pretty humid and hot, and just makes for a night of tossing and turning. I was so sleepy earlier tonight, and now.... after playing for abit I'm back to being wide awake.
Kind of worse cause I finished my book. hahaha
Need to find something else to curl up with.
No exciting news from the weekend to report. Not enough sleep, but that's mostly due to the all nighter pulled off on Friday night. Woke up just after 11 and couldn't get back to sleep. Ended up getting up and sending off a couple of job applications. Hopefully they all made perfect sense in my sleep deprived state?!
We shall see. It's actually kind of exciting to think about the possibilities. I'm so looking forward to getting out of my job now. Will be good to say GOODBYE, and move on with all that is out there waiting. YEAH!!!
My flatmate Jackie has just returned from church. Went to go see the "Heavenly Man" Brother Yun, who honestly has the most amazing testimony! If you want a good book to read - go grab that one!!
I say that, and I'm only up to Page 30. hehe. (What was I saying about not having a book before?)
Jackie is just in awe, and totally pumping about what was said, and just the whole faith moving story that came with the night.
I had a prayer meeting here for the Life FM people.... so couldn't go.... but still so cool to hear about it afterwards!
It's actually been a pretty amazing GOD day. Lots of little things happening, that would see so out of the ordinary for so many people - but I look and just see God's hand. I don't know where to start on that one. He's challenging me, and just bringing some amazing people across my path.
I guess the whole sitting up the other night made me do some thinking, and just got me on my knees with some things. I've been doing "nothing" about my situation for so long... and while the amble hasn't been all bad - it's like - WHAT AM I WANTING TO DO????
And why am I not just getting out there and getting into it?
I'm prattling here.... too many thoughts.... too many places I could start, and no idea how to get it all down.
Makes no sense, I know.
Talked to Nigel last night. Both keen for the Canada thing - but guess it depends on what we're both doing. He's looking at going to Malaysia for a while to teach, after doing more travelling - heading to South America for some volunteer work, some time in Africa, tripping around Europe with his parents and sister.... so Canada may not be on the cards.... but would certainly like it to happen!
Of course I need the new job to make it a reality!!
Big question for the day.....
If your income increases:
Do your living expensses increase - or does your giving??
I do have so much..... blessed in abundance.
Anyway.... it has been all good.....
I'd better go do some reading for this assignment which is due in a couple of weeks. Yay. Still need to sort out T.Coll as well. I may still be able to get some papers done this semester - since they are on section now. YAY! Will have to get an email away tomorrow.
Finally got the papers on Friday though. Would be so good to get that finished. And who knows... maybe I'll head over to England to teach for a while????
TEACH???
bed sounds like a better idea right now.
But first - other thoughts.... loving this one.
" Now unto Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all you ask or think according to His mighty power that works in us".
Ephesians 3:20
The power of the Almighty, Omnipotent God is in your by Faith. Why, then, do you find yourself settling for a humdrum life if the power of God resides in you?
It's because you have allowed the false limitations on life into your mind and mouth. If you can't fathom abundance in your life, you won't believe that God has the power to provide abundantly for you. Your small thinking will prevent the power of God from working in your life.
We as Christians, think too small.
Wouldn't it be if you were the first person in the entire world whom God rebuked and disciplined for being audacious in your requests to Him? Can you hear God saying "Well you presumtuous thing, you! ou want too much; you believe for too much; you think too big. Who do you think you are?"
That won't happen. Read your Bible. Jesus'admonitions sounded more like this: "You little, shallow-minded, pitiful people. I am amazed that you don't have any faith. You don't have any boldness, and you won't ask of me great things." Some of your are making God angry, and it's not because of some deep, dark sin. It's because you don't believe in God's infinite capacity to bring about greatness into your life.
Taken from Live Full Die Enpty by Rick Godwin. Awesome book!! and guess what - I'm guilty of the above!!!
Time to get an attitude check.
peace out
Crazy winds today.... the kind that really do turn the people of christchurch into utter nutters! Seriously. It is still pretty humid and hot, and just makes for a night of tossing and turning. I was so sleepy earlier tonight, and now.... after playing for abit I'm back to being wide awake.
Kind of worse cause I finished my book. hahaha
Need to find something else to curl up with.
No exciting news from the weekend to report. Not enough sleep, but that's mostly due to the all nighter pulled off on Friday night. Woke up just after 11 and couldn't get back to sleep. Ended up getting up and sending off a couple of job applications. Hopefully they all made perfect sense in my sleep deprived state?!
We shall see. It's actually kind of exciting to think about the possibilities. I'm so looking forward to getting out of my job now. Will be good to say GOODBYE, and move on with all that is out there waiting. YEAH!!!
My flatmate Jackie has just returned from church. Went to go see the "Heavenly Man" Brother Yun, who honestly has the most amazing testimony! If you want a good book to read - go grab that one!!
I say that, and I'm only up to Page 30. hehe. (What was I saying about not having a book before?)
Jackie is just in awe, and totally pumping about what was said, and just the whole faith moving story that came with the night.
I had a prayer meeting here for the Life FM people.... so couldn't go.... but still so cool to hear about it afterwards!
It's actually been a pretty amazing GOD day. Lots of little things happening, that would see so out of the ordinary for so many people - but I look and just see God's hand. I don't know where to start on that one. He's challenging me, and just bringing some amazing people across my path.
I guess the whole sitting up the other night made me do some thinking, and just got me on my knees with some things. I've been doing "nothing" about my situation for so long... and while the amble hasn't been all bad - it's like - WHAT AM I WANTING TO DO????
And why am I not just getting out there and getting into it?
I'm prattling here.... too many thoughts.... too many places I could start, and no idea how to get it all down.
Makes no sense, I know.
Talked to Nigel last night. Both keen for the Canada thing - but guess it depends on what we're both doing. He's looking at going to Malaysia for a while to teach, after doing more travelling - heading to South America for some volunteer work, some time in Africa, tripping around Europe with his parents and sister.... so Canada may not be on the cards.... but would certainly like it to happen!
Of course I need the new job to make it a reality!!
Big question for the day.....
If your income increases:
Do your living expensses increase - or does your giving??
I do have so much..... blessed in abundance.
Anyway.... it has been all good.....
I'd better go do some reading for this assignment which is due in a couple of weeks. Yay. Still need to sort out T.Coll as well. I may still be able to get some papers done this semester - since they are on section now. YAY! Will have to get an email away tomorrow.
Finally got the papers on Friday though. Would be so good to get that finished. And who knows... maybe I'll head over to England to teach for a while????
TEACH???
bed sounds like a better idea right now.
But first - other thoughts.... loving this one.
" Now unto Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all you ask or think according to His mighty power that works in us".
Ephesians 3:20
The power of the Almighty, Omnipotent God is in your by Faith. Why, then, do you find yourself settling for a humdrum life if the power of God resides in you?
It's because you have allowed the false limitations on life into your mind and mouth. If you can't fathom abundance in your life, you won't believe that God has the power to provide abundantly for you. Your small thinking will prevent the power of God from working in your life.
We as Christians, think too small.
Wouldn't it be if you were the first person in the entire world whom God rebuked and disciplined for being audacious in your requests to Him? Can you hear God saying "Well you presumtuous thing, you! ou want too much; you believe for too much; you think too big. Who do you think you are?"
That won't happen. Read your Bible. Jesus'admonitions sounded more like this: "You little, shallow-minded, pitiful people. I am amazed that you don't have any faith. You don't have any boldness, and you won't ask of me great things." Some of your are making God angry, and it's not because of some deep, dark sin. It's because you don't believe in God's infinite capacity to bring about greatness into your life.
Taken from Live Full Die Enpty by Rick Godwin. Awesome book!! and guess what - I'm guilty of the above!!!
Time to get an attitude check.
peace out
Saturday, February 26, 2005
introducing....
the car transition.......
no problems... in fact, quite enjoying the whole ziping around in the little red beast.
She's been christened "Molly" . Suits her perfectly. Short and sweet.... and just cool! lol
Who gets so attached to a car???
besides me?
Will have to get a pic taken quickly and put up. You guys will just laugh at me!
So first adventure in Molly will be over Easter... cruising down to the Milford Sound to go hang out with Ben on the Hollyford track.
Can't wait! Not about to miss out on the opportunity to do this before Ben finishes his job. Who knows if he'll do it again next year?
So... tripping down there. It was either that, or kayaking the Abel Tasman again. Figure Mike would enjoy doing that when he gets back.... though what the weather would be like to do that in July??? I guess it also depends on jobs, and whether I have my ticket for Canada?!
Will have to go check out flights, and get something booked.
Righty ho.....
Coffee time waits. :)
Hope everyone is having sunny side up days.
no problems... in fact, quite enjoying the whole ziping around in the little red beast.
She's been christened "Molly" . Suits her perfectly. Short and sweet.... and just cool! lol
Who gets so attached to a car???
besides me?
Will have to get a pic taken quickly and put up. You guys will just laugh at me!
So first adventure in Molly will be over Easter... cruising down to the Milford Sound to go hang out with Ben on the Hollyford track.
Can't wait! Not about to miss out on the opportunity to do this before Ben finishes his job. Who knows if he'll do it again next year?
So... tripping down there. It was either that, or kayaking the Abel Tasman again. Figure Mike would enjoy doing that when he gets back.... though what the weather would be like to do that in July??? I guess it also depends on jobs, and whether I have my ticket for Canada?!
Will have to go check out flights, and get something booked.
Righty ho.....
Coffee time waits. :)
Hope everyone is having sunny side up days.
Friday, February 25, 2005
news....
TOday is car day!!! hahahaha.... who would get so excited about a car, huh?!
ME!
I haven't had a car of my own since before Christmas.... which is super surprising - because looking back, I haven't been without a car in pretty much that whole time. Talk about SO BLESSED!!
Need to dash out and get owners papers sorted, and then zoom to work, I guess. uhg.
I was actually thinking about the whole idea of doing some volunteer work. Haven't done anything in ages. Just wondering if there would be a way for me to drop my days to 4, and have a day to do something else. Either Fridays or Mondays. Was actually thinking about the idea of doing some youth work. I don't know how, or where.... but it's been too long, and I get the feeling that I'm being too inward focused. This life is not about me!
We shall see.... it's a weekend of catch up, I think. Need to get some letters done, and figure out my flights for the next wedding.... and figure out a way to Canada at the end of the year.
Nig and I are meeting in Canada for a white Christmas. YAY! :) Would love to meet Tab while I'm over there - and who knows, by then it might be right for me to just stay on and live there? Life is ever unpredicatable.
"He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much." Bessie Anderson Stanley.
ME!
I haven't had a car of my own since before Christmas.... which is super surprising - because looking back, I haven't been without a car in pretty much that whole time. Talk about SO BLESSED!!
Need to dash out and get owners papers sorted, and then zoom to work, I guess. uhg.
I was actually thinking about the whole idea of doing some volunteer work. Haven't done anything in ages. Just wondering if there would be a way for me to drop my days to 4, and have a day to do something else. Either Fridays or Mondays. Was actually thinking about the idea of doing some youth work. I don't know how, or where.... but it's been too long, and I get the feeling that I'm being too inward focused. This life is not about me!
We shall see.... it's a weekend of catch up, I think. Need to get some letters done, and figure out my flights for the next wedding.... and figure out a way to Canada at the end of the year.
Nig and I are meeting in Canada for a white Christmas. YAY! :) Would love to meet Tab while I'm over there - and who knows, by then it might be right for me to just stay on and live there? Life is ever unpredicatable.
"He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much." Bessie Anderson Stanley.
Monday, February 21, 2005
a teaspoon of madness....
It's actually more like a Tablespoon, but oh well.
So, silly me was complaining about last week being abit too quiet.... not enough stress to keep me busy throughout the days.
I should always know better than to utter such words, and so flipantly too.
Today has just been insane, as far as work goes. It's going to be a very interesting week, to say the least.
Aside from work, and the madness festering away, there just seems to be much going on in my head to boot.
The flat is still fantastic. Catherine and I went for a great walk tonight when I got home from work. Was quite funny really, cause my big thought while I was driving was that I so wanted to just walk. I was really thinking that I'd grab the trusty walkman, and just listen and meander away. BUT, I got home to Catherine saying - I don't supposed I could possibly convince you to come for a walk with me? hahaha... how perfect is that?! I'd mostly always rather go for a walk with someone than on my own.... mostly!
So... we walked, and talked, and just caught up on everything that was going on for her.
Life is throwing some curve balls her way, and she's got alot to figure out. Funny how the sermon on Sunday was about the tests that come our way, and how God wants to challenge us, and grow us..... and these things won't just go away.
I'm always reminded of James.....
" consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, beacuse you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
stuck on italics now.... that'll teach me! lol
So, while I have the magnet on my fridge saying
"you can only be young once, but you can stay immature indefinately"
I would quite like to grow up in my faith..... to choose to hand over the things that I struggle with, and grow up.
Anyway.... food is smelling good out there. Fresh pasta and yummy salad. Life is good.
flatmates are awesome! :)
Toodles......
So, silly me was complaining about last week being abit too quiet.... not enough stress to keep me busy throughout the days.
I should always know better than to utter such words, and so flipantly too.
Today has just been insane, as far as work goes. It's going to be a very interesting week, to say the least.
Aside from work, and the madness festering away, there just seems to be much going on in my head to boot.
The flat is still fantastic. Catherine and I went for a great walk tonight when I got home from work. Was quite funny really, cause my big thought while I was driving was that I so wanted to just walk. I was really thinking that I'd grab the trusty walkman, and just listen and meander away. BUT, I got home to Catherine saying - I don't supposed I could possibly convince you to come for a walk with me? hahaha... how perfect is that?! I'd mostly always rather go for a walk with someone than on my own.... mostly!
So... we walked, and talked, and just caught up on everything that was going on for her.
Life is throwing some curve balls her way, and she's got alot to figure out. Funny how the sermon on Sunday was about the tests that come our way, and how God wants to challenge us, and grow us..... and these things won't just go away.
I'm always reminded of James.....
" consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, beacuse you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
stuck on italics now.... that'll teach me! lol
So, while I have the magnet on my fridge saying
"you can only be young once, but you can stay immature indefinately"
I would quite like to grow up in my faith..... to choose to hand over the things that I struggle with, and grow up.
Anyway.... food is smelling good out there. Fresh pasta and yummy salad. Life is good.
flatmates are awesome! :)
Toodles......
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Side note
I can't figure out why my posts blurb stuff never changes.... you know that dinky thing that tells you how many posts you've made, and how many words.... it never changes!!!!
What's Up With That??? Kind of gutting... it seems to be stuck back in Novemeber... and while I can often be melancholic, not quite to that extent. What happened in November that would keep me there?
No idea?
Any ideas.... fire them my way.... please
What's Up With That??? Kind of gutting... it seems to be stuck back in Novemeber... and while I can often be melancholic, not quite to that extent. What happened in November that would keep me there?
No idea?
Any ideas.... fire them my way.... please
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