Thursday, August 12, 2004


I thought about the whole "I love yous" thing.

The fact that I use it often when I talk to people was something I was wondering about - but realised it all stems from when I first went to the States.

I have a photo of me in the airport with a group of friends who had come to see me off.... along with family. My Grandad had come along with one of my cousins - and they were all going out for dinner after my flight left. Anyway.... he disappeared just before I was supposed to board, and we took the photo. Needless to say I never got to say goodbye. He died almost 2 months later. I had a letter waiting to be posted, telling him about my adventures, and hadn't even managed to get it posted. Anyway - gutted wouldn't even begin to describe how I felt. The funeral was on my birthday... and I was miles away from my family, and missing out on saying goodbye to someone who had just always been there, a huge part of my life.

In some ways it was all good. Granny had died 6 months earlier, and his life just wasn't the same without her. Theirs was an amazing relationship.... and one totally overflowing in love!

I guess during all of that, I realised that I wasn't guaranteed a "next" time to tell people how I felt. And yes, I do sometimes wonder if, by saying it often, it looses it's meaning? The depth? I don't think so..... it's something that people need to know and hear. Probably isn't said often enough to a lot of people out there!

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