Sunday, August 22, 2004

here i sit...

Crazy Sunday afternoon.....

The sun is streaming in my bedroom window, and it's these moments where being a cat just makes sense. I need to make the time to curl up in the sun, and just soak up some of those rays. Especially in the winter, when you don't seem to get them often enough!

So... thats the plan for later on, but for now, I have to sit here.... my head covered in dye! Yes... hence the crazy! I've decided I've been boring. Time for a change... nothing too drastic, but a change non-the-less. :o)
Figure if it looks too bad, I can always zoom back down to the store and get something else?! hehe. It's actually been years since I did a permenant colour......
Maybe this is a start to me, being more me again?

It's actually amazing how easily we are swayed by the people's opinions around us!
I never thought I was super easily influenced, but I'm beginning to wonder now. With these thoughts of feeling like I'm being squashed into a box. yes the whole Star shape being pushed through a circle. That's me! Or just my feelings and thoughts.
I'm fully aware that I need to be aware of my motives for doing some things, and yes, I tend to er on the side of rebelion. Get a notion in my head, and I freak, exploding in the complete opposit direction, just to be sure that I'm not going to be mistaken for being one of "Them"! hehe

So.... with those thoughts come thoughts of what I'm going to do with the rest of the year. What of these dreams, and thoughts? What is important to me? What have I taken on board as being important - when it is for others, but not me?

I havent had that gut wrenching - YES! This is what I'm supposed to be doing in a while.
I can so distinctly remember driving around Christchurch, and just having that awesome feeling that yes, this is where I was supposed to be. That feeling has gone now..... but is it just that the itching is louder than anything else..... the need to scratch consuming my thoughts?

Ben is getting home in a couple of weeks.... and it will be interesting to hear about his travels, and just hear about his ideas for where he is going to go now?

Maybe the fact that I have so many friends travelling right now is being an influence in itself. It would have to be, to some extent.... but is that what is getting me wound up the most?

ME?! hehe
I'm good at that.......

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