Wednesday, April 23, 2008

A Friday night..


On a Friday night…..

I’m sitting in a café, Main street Hamilton, on the night of the first day of the Hamilton 400. The city has taken on a new look. There is a band blaring outside on the main street; it having been closed to all cars for the night – and the restaurants have made the most of it with lots of outside seating – no longer a footpath in sight as people begin to spill onto the streets.

I haven’t been in the best of moods today.

My boss ran off to watch the racing, which is great. In the lead up to the huge event he became more and more like a child in a candy store. It was actually wonderful to see someone who was looking forward to something so much. I’m glad he took the day off to go and enjoy it.

I don’t mind being left in the office, but it was dead!

Everyone in the electrical industry was down there enjoying it. I rang a few of my suppliers and all I could hear while I was talking to them was a brrrrrrooooooooooom every few seconds as a car zoomed past. Quite amusing, while they tried their best to convince me that they were in fact working hard.

I’m beginning to feel more and more like a little fish swimming in an enormous pool/lake/ocean…….

It’s not that I feel out of my league as such… more like I’m just stuck and don’t know how to grow this into something bigger.

I guess that ultimately scares the hell out of me because what if I do decide to start doing my own thing. Ultimately I would like to work for me, but would I get to this same place and begin to flounder around too. What would be different? Just the fact that I needed to succeed because it was that or fail myself?

Do I feel complacent because I’m working for someone else who just doesn’t challenge me, or really encourage me to do anything different – therefore I get more bored, but less inclined to jump up and do anything because it’s really not even expected.

Mediocre is alright?

Since when was I ok with being mediocre????

I’m not!

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