and here I sit in my kitchen.... there is a gorgeous cool breeze blowing in the kitchen door, and I can hear fireworks being let off into the almost dark sky.
I've just come in from watering the garden. It's my favourite time of day. The sky is dressing up - clothing herself in all those magnificent colours, and showing them off to anyone who bothers to look up and take a moment to appreciate them..... although she is constantly changing her mind about what she will wear tonight to enchant the moon... finally slipping away behind the hills.
I feel so much calmer and able to think once it's cooled off and the rest of the world seems to have gone to bed.
As is always the case on New Years Eve, I sit and ponder on the year that is ending and wonder about what lies ahead.
I don't feel as though I've achieved what it was I set out to do this year, and am slightly disappointed that I'm here in New Zealand, still. But... I'm really enjoying my little house, and while it's all been very slow, I can handle that.
It does leave me feeling like I have a HUGE question mark hanging over my head for this year. Only absolute right now would be wedding in April. After that - anything could happen.
I was watching the movie "The Holiday" the other day.... and stumbled across this. It actually kind of sums it all up for me right now.
".... sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. But after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again, and little pieces of your soul will finally come back and all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted - that will eventually begin to fade."I feel like I may just be getting through to that place where I'm beginning to believe that I am worthwhile.
~ Iris, The Holiday
It's a long road.... but I'm trusting that I'll finish this race set out before me.....
It's certainly less lonely with all you wonderful people in my life who offer up words of encouragement and support.
You are all so appreciated.
Wishing you all a wonderful year ahead of you.