venting.......

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I'm in the kitchen right now..... bubbling away on the stove is my wonderful preserving pan filled with granny smith apples, which are almost ready to be bottled.

I was standing over them stirring away when I suddenly said out loud:

"what am I doing this for? I'm going to end up with quite a few bottles of stewed apples and only me to eat them! This is the sort of thing someone who was married should do. Someone who has a large family and people to share it all with..... me....... I don't have that!"


And then, the question of why don't I?

This verse from Ecclesiastes 4 popped into my head:

8 There was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
"For whom am I toiling," he asked,
"and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"
This too is meaningless—
a miserable business!

9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

I know that I can do these things, and I can share these things - but it's not quite the same.

Selfish?

I don't know...... right now, just thoughts tumbling around in my head.