inside....

the making of a baker.....

Yesterday was Tamati's birthday, and also the big day of moving for them - so Tawhai and I got busy in the kitchen.

Yep ...... we made dad date scones for breakfast! and you know what, I think I've become more relaxed over the years with kids. He had a blast with the flour, and putting things in the wizz and turning it on. Was super fun to watch him having so much fun.

the last sunset....

The last night I spent on the farm.... thought it was appropriate to capture it. Stunning stuff!

the house....

Not great pics - but I've been promising people that I would put some up. Hopefully I'll get some of the inside after the chaos this weekend. :)

Note - window next to the front door, the one that I had to replace. WOHOOO! It fit perfectly, and now I can attack that room. Need to replace some of the jib board, and strip the wallpaper. Exciting times! Then I'll have a spare room all ready for the visitors - especially those with paint brushes.

thief....

I don't want to be all depressed about anything. But this is the song of the moment. The song that fills my heart, and I'm going to let it for a moment. Let it be a swift moment though.

I think it means more because of the explanation that came with why it was written. Brooke makes me laugh, and smile with the gentle way that she exposes herself in her songs. Have to admire that.

if you get a chance, have a listen to it.....

www.brookefraser.com

The Thief
Your eyes are full
Full of the future of us
The air changes as you look across
At me in that wondering way

It is as if
I knew you before we spoke
Do our hearts know something we don't?
Conspiring, converging without giving us any say

CHORUS
You, sing me to sleep
Talk down my walls
Look through my windows as I wait
You could be the thief
I give the key to

You're ruining me
With secrets and gestures and looks
With sonnets from second-hand books
Playing the chords in me nobody knew how to play

It fits in your hand like water in rain
It unlocks our two different selves
And shows we are the same
Rather than wait `til I put me out for the taking
You're breaking
You're breaking
You're breaking into my heart
And I'm letting you

happening.....

So I'm all moved......
that is to say that I'm living in the house with boxes all around me.

I'm driving down to a cute little town tomorrow to pick up the vital fridge and washing machine, which should be quite fun - considering all the snow that is on the roads at the moment. I've managed to convince a friend to come and keep me company. Strangely for the first time I really didn't want to go on this drive on my own. I think more because if something happened, I really wouldn't be able to lift a fridge on my own. ;)
Sure, I'd like to think I could deal with it - but my stuborness ends with fridges.

I'm gutted that I haven't taken any photos before things have started to happen!
Hopefully the rain will have gone by Sunday, and I can get snap happy so that I've got a record of what's happened to the abode. The things that have been done have made a huge difference so far though.... The picture is starting to take shape and I'm getting excited.

A long way to go though!

Other than the house, life is ambling along.

Feeling rather shallow still..... questioning things.... and where I need to go.... how my relationships need to change and be worked on.

I need to make more time for God.

Sunbeams and daisies.
xx

long time coming.....

The packing has begun.
The boxes are being gathered.
The "stuff" is being sorted.

Here we go again!

Actually... I just sold my beloved little car; Molly, so this is really happening.

In saying that, I also just bought a fridge, washing machine, dryer, microwave and vacuum... so while I'm getting rid of things, I'm gaining rapidly too.

I move into the house over in Morrinsville on Friday for operation DO UP. The plan - to do up the house and sell it all before Dec 11th, which is cut off date for flights to somewhere far far away. :)

Yes... I'm on a mission, and I'm gaining painters and builders as I go.

I'll be snaping pics on Sunday when I get back from Auckland for a reunion of wild and crazy university friends. Hopefully I'll be all unpacked come Sunday too. Though I don't get all the nitty gritty things for another week. (Big trip south for all of those things)

It's all madness and mayhem, and I'm trying to soak up the views from the farm while I can. I'll be 30 mins away, which is nothing - but I don't imagine I'll have alot of time for much else besides the house.

It's a new season.

Bring it on!

Thought for this new season....

if it doesn't scare you, it isn't from God!

xxx

pics....

Bridesmaid flowers....





















Raewyn - after the ceremony....


















I didn't really get the chance to catch up with her - but it was a gorgeous ceremony, and I guess I'll have to try and get down there again before too long.

The building where they had the ceremony was stunning.... the old court room of Christchurch, with stainglass windows, cool old fire places, big old room with a balcony.

starting from way back......

Tawhai turned 2 last month - so we celebrated at the zoo. This would have to be a super typical Tawhai face! :)


Poor little guy had a black eye from a fall a few days before. Still - he was all smiles on the day.

And luck last - Tawh's favourite - Boom, the Chimp.

hmmmmm

I had a lovely surprise call tonight......

and the question that was asked was what was really on my mind.

Everything that I could think of was quite superficial.

~ job
~ Canada
~ house
~ trip

I could prattle on about that sort of thing for ages, and to pretty much anyone about these things.
But the bigger things... the bigger thoughts, I tend to keep to myself these days.

I had moments while I was down south where I got to spill my heart felt thoughts, my fears, my excitement - but up here it's all quite different, and I think I've just learnt to keep it to myself.

Not a good thing to learn about oneself.

I'm quietly reminded about being transparent.....

xxx

yipeeeee

I've just finished packing. :)

Yes.... I'm off again.

Dirivng up to Auckland tonight to see some friends who had a baby ages ago who I haven't met yet. Looking forward to catching up with them. Then early tomorrow morning I jump on a great jet and wing my way down to Christchurch.

YIPEEEEEE!

I've got the week off to catch up with friends and go to a wedding on Friday. I'm so looking forward to it all. Really need the break from work - though I still have work to do while I'm gone. The joys of email. But a change of scene will be bliss.

That... and the cooler weather, the friends, the coffee. hehehehe.

On the way to Auckland now, I've got to stop and get a photo taken. Not so great - but, it is, because it's for my new canadian passport!

Exciting stuff.

The first step to things happening.

Oh - there is so much going on right now I hardly know what to write or where to start.

For now... I'd just better get out of here, and get to Auckland before it gets much later.

I need to find a baby present along the way. hehehehe. Badly organised!

Photos to follow....

Much love, xxx

almost...

who would have thought the middle of the year would be here so quickly?
much like winter - both have snuck up on me with such stealth like abilities.

the fog clings to the hills till late morning, leaving the city in a damp state, while also causing chaos for drivers, such as myself first thing in the morning. while I appreciate that we do need to change our driving to the conditions, people seem to go into panic mode with the fog. I don't understand it at all. It's more scary and dangerous to drive in the fog because of the drivers!

So, with the middle of the year, comes a time to think of all the missions that were planned for the year. I guess a time to reflect on hopes, on visions, and to just get refocused on all these things.
It's a little scary to think about everything that I wanted to do, and have not come close to actually making the time for them. But on the other hand - there are some things that hadn't been thought of which have happened... and for some reason, those are most often the best times!

Sorry - kind of feel like I'm in circle mode tonight.

The day has been long, and somewhat frustrating with work, and not knowing enough to feel as though I can actually do my job properly. I'm have lessons tomorrow on the wonderful world of Transformers. WOHOOOO!!! yes, watch out world. Once I get these big beasts figured out there will be no stoping me! :) hehehehe

Ahhhhh... how I do miss the world of cutlery from time to time. A plate was such a simple thing to explain, and sell. But where would the challenge be to stay in a safe little world of things understood. Where would the growth take place? And would we become who God had intended us to be?

Right.... best go wander to bed.

Peace and prayers. xxx

day trips

National Park..... pretty much the middle of the North Island on one of my trips.
And below, the Chateau I keep thinking I should go and spend a weekend in. It's pretty lush on the inside.... velvet curtains, a grand piano in the lounge area.... I think it would be fun, though perhaps lavish?


And these guys..... well.... some of the balloons at the fiesta back in April.
I've been awfully slow!

The other morning I woke to this... had to grab the camera and snap away......
I took off to have coffee, and when I got back, this was the next shot.....


who could complain about that for a Saturday morning view.

I know I need to do a catch up, and I will.... but I really want to get some photos uploaded as a start to it all.

Prayers flying for everyone over yonder...

Kia kaha.
xxxx

Easter - the trip it became.

the full moon, which was the beginning of it all.

I had planned to go North to Goat Island; the oldest marine reserve in New Zealand to swim with the fishies. There were 5 of us all set to go, so come Friday morning I had the truck all packed to go, was just going to head off when I turned on my cell phone. I don't get reception in my room, so if I leave it on all night it spends the night looking for reception, consequently killing the battery by morning.
Anyway... 3 messages in the middle of the night. First one - someone has pulled out. Second, the other person from Tauranga has pulled out. Third - the other person has pulled out - would you be interested in just doing a day trip on Saturday?!

WHAT!!!!

I called, and we chatted about people who have no idea how to commit, and everything else. I was all packed so I was going somewhere. I'd been looking forward to this for weeks, and just felt so upset that it had all turned to custard. My opinion of North Islander's, well, people just went down the gurgler. I had tried. I was steping out of my comfort zone going on this trip with people that I didn't know, and felt a little anxious about it in some respects, since I've been living in comfort zone somewhat - but I was still very excited. Anyway....





I ended up driving up to my aunt and uncles place on the Whangarei Heads. It was a great drive up. I found this fantastic place to go camping right next to the beach, and just cruised along before getting there.
Also stumbled on this fantastic little hall. Absolutely amazing spot to have it. It was just a picture perfect moment. :)




My cousin and her husband were up there too, along with some friends of theirs I had met last month at the fireworks. Was nice to catch up with all of them.
Also, turned out that the Canadian Consulate was staying. hehehehe. Yes, i got to smooze with the big wigs. Not only big wigs, but Canadians! :)
She was incredibly positive about Calgary, and the boom that was happening there now. Didn't think I would have any problems finding a job. All very encouraging to hear right now.

I ended up having to cook them breakfast the next day, as Ros was running around getting ready for something. It would have been quite the comedy for someone to have watched. The husband came in declaring they had got times wrong, and they had to be somewhere much sooner. I quickly had to get coffee going, water boiling for the eggs, find the toast.... which led to me not realising that somewhat had switched the stove off, so the water wasn't boiling, I burnt the toast, and the coffee grinder didn't grind. hehehehe. I even broke the yoke of two of the eggs. Quite classic. I think I'll stick with the backpackers where I don't have to deal with rushed breakfasts.



I drove over to this great little beach on the west coast for the afternoon. The scenery on the way was so lush and green, and there just seemed to be such depth. The trees were starting to change colour. It was great!









Lots of stops on the way home, including going to Goat Island. It was packed, with lots of kids everywhere, and noise filling the air. I swam away to cool off, though didn't really get to enjoy the fish. The whole area is awesome... cute little town, and I'm sure plenty to see and do. By then I was just in cuise home mode. I tired to get some pics of the fish swimming in the rock pools, though not many wanted to co-operate with me. I spent some time fish spotting with this cute little girl. She got so excited every time she found one, that the fish promptly scurried off. I didn't mind.




So, it ended up being a lovely long weekend. I kept hearing the same words from God.....
"Be still and know that I am God."

It was comforting, while everything I try to control and make better, and just focus too much of my energy on just fell through my fingers, I am reminded to let go... let God control and have the peace, realising that He's not about to drop me.

Hope everyone else had a wonderful, most blessed time.

trips around

I headed out to the Mt the week before Easter. Was absolutely picture perfect day. Would have thought it was the middle of summer, not autumn.

The pohutakawas were blooming, which was very late. But they looked gorgeous against the blue sky.

A huge ship had docked that day, so there were tourists everywhere, which was kind of different. There are always lots of people there - but these ones were in flocks armed with bags.

I've never really thought of the area as being one where you would want to shop - but I guess as a tourist?





I got to have a quick walk around the Mt on my way home. There weren't too many people, which was nice. I guess the tourists were too busy with the shops? hehehe. It was the perfect lead into the Easter weekend.

big day out

Yes, I got to take Tawhai on his first fair ride. He was hillarious!!!!! I thought he might start crying after the first round - but he just started laughing away. Very cute.

We went to go and watch my cousin in the National Shearing Champs. She was absolutely brilliant - ended up 6th, and is still the only girl to do so well. She just blows me away with her strength and calm manner doing something so hard..... and she has such style about her too. :)
Took this picture of Tawhai with Sam afterwards (Emily's husband) He's a mans man with the softest nature... and the ability to grow amazing spuds! :)

pics from this week

I was off exploring on Tuesday..... up and around the Coromandel. Was a bit grey, but still such a great place to be. Was kind of one of those hot sticky days in the rain. Bizarre how that happens.

I'd promised to take some pictures for a friend who hasn't ever been up there - so, here you go!

<--------Those are the Dr Seus Trees

















































Just to give you a glimpse. :)

another year....

Oh yeah.....

Friday is that day again......

Can't believe that it's been a year since the night in the park with all my friends and mum and dad flying down to surprise me.

This year......
I'm working and that's about it.

I've been invited out to dinner with a bunch of other people in Hamilton from different churches, and I think I'll go along to that - though it will be lonely, not sharing my day with friends.
I had thought about having a birthday dinner on Saturday night - but Tamati is going away for the weekend, and brother David is in a bit of a funk right now, not returning my calls... so it would be mum, dad and alex. hehehe. Actually, Alex I think Alex may even be working?
Another weekend?

It is, after all, just another day.

As ever, thoughts running rampant.

xx

Bonjour!

Salut mes chers amis!

Another weekend breezed past, and it was all a blur.

My brother, sister in law and neice and nephew came to stay. It was lovely to have a full house, and to have the company, but it really did stretch my patience too.
They'd all been very sick that week, and so I'm sure Tessa and Tamati needed a break - but Evita was being quite fussy, and just wanted to be held all the time.... poor Tawhai must be teething, and while he's just the best at finding things to do - I felt quite bad that I didn't give him more attention.

I was left feeling drained and with the thought that I would just not make a good mother. My time as a nanny and in the classroom had indicated as much.... being an aunt has confirmed! Hehe. It's not really an issue, but a passing comment.

Anyway.... I've since been hit by the passing bug, and spent all of yesterday in bed, or in the bathroom... and today, while better - still not able to sit for long periods. Thankfully the spa is such a relief. I can go and sit out there and almost fall asleep in a state of bliss. The heat seems to help my stomach settle a little and eases those aches and pains from the tractors which visit requently during the night, running over my back and legs. hehehe.

This however may be the motivation that is required to get me down to the local video store to become a member. 10 months later and I still haven't been down there to get out a dvd, which is most bizarre... I don't think any of my friends would believe me if I told them that. Today, I do feel like watching something though. :) A nice sappy movie to keep me company.

The movie "Miss Potter" has just come out here, and I was supposed to go and see it last week with a new friend. (yes.... I'm getting out there and meeting people, slowly but surely. hehehe) I ended up in Auckland though, and he got bogged down with work. hehehe. Maybe this week we'll actually get there?
Yesterday we had a cute little visitor, so I thought I would include a picture of her for you. For those of your who are Beatrix Potter fans, such as myself - you should have no problem recognising her.

Yes.... Miss Tiggywinkle came a-visiting. And Twiggy was most curious.....


I think Twiggy thought she'd found a new friend. And while a hedgehog will hardly hurt, not something to dig your claws into.

It's rather unusual to see one out at day light, so hope that this little one was ok. It was just as dusk, and it seemed quite happy foraging around looking for slugs and snails. I have no idea where it wandered off to after this.... but hopefully it stayed clear of the horses hooves.

Right.... must move..... tickets to buy for Brooke Frasers concert - which I'm most excited about, and better try and get something done with this car.

Be blessed
xx

from the office desk

The American story.....

Wow, it's almost been a month since Valentines eve. And while this all happened on the night, that really isn't the point. :)

I had band practice that night.... and when I got out, my phone had not one, but two messages from my parents asking me to stop and get milk on my way home. Kind of funny since they both rang independently. Great minds?

So... off I trot to the super market. It's a place I don't actually mind when the hoards have all gone home to sleep, and you can meander the isles in blissful peace. I wander around, perhaps a little aimless, and endup with an arm load of things. (I'm always of the opinion that if I don't get a trolley than I won't buy more things than I need, because it's just too difficult to load up - but what ends up happening is that I struggle to carry everything!)

To the check out I go, and stand behind a guy.

Now, super markets aren't really the place to strike up a conversation. People generally stand around and mind their own business. They look at what the person in front of them has bought. Make all sorts of judgement calls, just to wild and crazy conclussions, and that's the end of that.
I however have this need to talk - especially since I only seem to talk while I'm at work. So, standing there, this guy is waiting for the check out chick to find something, and we start talking. He's from America - so immediatly I have more to say.
~ where in the States are you from?
~ How long have you been here?
~ Where have you been so far?
~ Favourite spots
~ Where to next
It goes on from there until things are finally sorted, and off he goes.

This is where you would imagine normalcy accomplised once more, and it is for a moment.

I walk out to my truck and literally throw the stuff into the passengers seat - there really isn't any other way of doing it. Then, when I look up, I see that the guy is parked right in front of me.
I don't think there was any real thought going through my head.... except, Why not?

I walk over and say " please don't think me a stalker, or strange, but I wondered what you were doing now? Would you like to go get a drink?"

We end up standing there and talking for a while, then eventually head off to a cafe. We even find parking right next to eachother, and wander up the street..... sit at the cafe and talk until the place is all packed up around us.

What blissssss... a night of conversation, different opinions, stories of travel and life.

Yeah.... could once actually ask for more on what is supposed to be this extravagent night of romance? I don't think so. In fact, I think that officially rates up there as my best Valentines night - one with a complete stranger, who I may never see again. No romance, no motives, no worries. hehehe

Madness, I know!

march, already!

The weekend is zooming by, and I thought if I don't sit down now, and make time, when will I get around to it again?

Firstly; Mr Ed, I so appreciate your notes, and constant encouragement. You really are so super sweet to stop by and check up on me. To anyone else who stops by... thanks to you too. :)

Right.... some pics that I had to share


Firstly; Tawhai and Popa! hehehehe... yes, one of Tawhai's first words is Popa, and he says it with such convection and excitement. We've come to the conclusion that while he loves Popa, what he really LOVES is the tractor! Whenever they are driving out in the country now, Tawh gets all excited and starts saying Popa, regardless of where they are. Has made for some tearful drives. But, wow is it ever cute when he does arrive here, and jumps out of the car to find Popa!

Next bit of exciting news; Tawhai is trying to say my name! :) Yipeeeeeeeee....... ok, so CJ is coming out like Yeyay, but I'll take whatever I can get. He even chants it around the house, especially after I've been around there. How cute is that?!

Evita is growing super quickly, and I suspect is going to jump straight to walking. She is a mover and a groover, and hates to be still. Quite hillarious to watch, but exhausting to have to try and hold. We had her dedication last weekend at church, and she wore a dress that was made from Tessa's great grandmother's wedding dress. Absolutely gorgeous, and for the first time she just snuggled into my arms through most of the service. It was so precious to have that time with her, and just cherish this beautiful little girl. I've got a couple of photos on my computer that I need to get over here to put up.....
For now, this one will have to do. Tamati being his usual cheeky self.


Tamati's response to my saying that I was looking to move was one of panic, quickly followed by one of madness. He's adament about setting me up with some guy. Yes, he's of the belief that if I should fall madly in love, then I wouldn't make such threats. It was such a funny process to watch. Instantly naming off guys with Tessa.... " what do you think of so and so, and then there's.... "
I had to laugh.
I'm not looking for a guy to make me feel better about living here. I would like some friends to do things with. I'm becoming more of a recluse, and it's scaring me - as it's becoming more comfortable, and I know that I'm starting to make less of an effort.
Sure, I still ask people out, and am ever the friendly one.... but it's becoming less of an issue.

I'll have to spill the story about the American in another blog. hehehe.

Hope the weekends have been warm and filled with much laughter. It is certainly an awesome thing to have people around who fill your heart with warmth and cheerfulness.

Be blessed.
xx

feeling....

hungry!

and in the midst of the hunger pains is a deeper feeling of anticpation and longing.

I can't wait to jump on a jet plane and wing my way out of here!

The more I think about it, the more I can't wait, and the more I can't wait, the more eager I get, and you know what... I think it may be a vicious circle, and it's making me dizzy.

So... that's me.

Feel like I may have jumped off the spinning world for a bit, but slowly finding my way again.

Bless you guys!