Tuesday, July 15, 2008

grace, mercy, love.....

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9,10

It's been a hard day. I wish I had read this before I tried to stumble through the day in a bit of a blur, and in mostly a grump.
I don't like being grumpy with people - and normally I can't stay mad at anyone for more than 5 mins, but my boss really managed to push all my buttons yesterday.

I felt so unappreciated, belittled and silly.

Unfortunately I carried that around with me for much of the day. It wasn't helped by the fact that I've felt like an elephant has been sitting on my chest all day, and so just breathing has been a struggle.

The coughing fit that woke me at 2:45am and carried on until after 5am probably didn't help the mode. The drinking of too much cough mixture in absolute desperation, which turns out to be a laxative also didn't help. (But now makes me giggle... what a trade off!!)

Through it all, I sit back now and read those words in 2 Corinthians.

Hi grace is enough for me.... and He's more powerful, more able, more mighty in my weakness, I just need to hand it over, and allow Him to move in all my circumstances. ALL OF THEM!

Not get all picky and only hand him some of the things I'm dealing with.... He knows them all anyway - but being a gracious, loving Father, He sits back and patiently waits for us to ask. For me to humble myself and place my problems at the foot of the cross trusting that He cares enough to pick them up.

And if I believe that He does know the number of hairs on my head, that he knew me and knitted me in my mothers womb, that He sent His one and only Son to die for me....

After all that - how could I not believe that He cares about the little details of my day?


Sunday, July 13, 2008

a day, a week, a year.....

Kind of reminds me of the theme song from Rent.......

If you knew it was coming to an end - what would you do?
How would your priorities change? Would they? Or are you living the life that you want to be living at this very moment?

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer on Wednesday.
She's 10 years younger than my grandmother was when she was diagnosed. Granny died just over a year later.

I did freak out when I found out, and the memories have not been particularly sweet.

Now though..... we're incredibly relieved that it was breast cancer and not her melanoma spreading - which would have meant that it could have spread everywhere and there would be little they could do.

She will hopefully have her surgery this week, recover from that and go through 6 weeks of Radiation therapy.
Prognosis is good, and mum is doing awesomely well.

Between here and there, a whole lot of praying and a whole lot of walking in Faith.

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen...."

So.... my question really is.... are you living the life you want to live?
Are you being all you are meant to be?
What is God telling you to do right now?

I'd have to answer yes and no.

I'm still here, and I'm glad that I have the answers now for why the doors have been repeatedly slammed this year every time I've made moves to leave.

I have a long way to go....

lead me to the cross....


One of Brookes great songs..... thought some of you might enjoy it.

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialled
You are
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart